In my early twenties I barely dated. Now in my early thirties (I'm 30 on the dot) Im all over the place.
I went from maybe a date every 6 months to about 20 in the past year (all with different girls).
And now, for the past 2 weeks I've been dating 2 girls. Well sort of.
Two weeks ago I went to a loft party and met a girl. I'll call her Nadine.
We talked for a bit and then exchanged numbers. We ended up going on two dates. Both resulting with a kiss at the end.
Meanwhile, prior to meeting Nadine, I was set up through a matchmaking service with someone. Ill call her Star. We spent about a week trying to find a time we could meet. We settle in a day the same week. We also went on two dates. No kisses.
I swear I didn't arrange this on purpose and in fact hated the situation. I felt like I had to choose. In the end I just kept thinking of reason why not to date either of them.
Nadine seems nice but I kept struggling if I was attracted to her.
The combination of that and the fact she was really really into me just made me think it best not to lead her on.
Meanwhile, Star is a lot prettier than Nadine but my problem with her is that she is very conservative. I like tongi out and e social and do a lot of different things and I just don't see her on the same page.
I've literally been worrying about what I want and what's going in in my head all week. So I just had to do something and ended up telling Nadine it wasnt going to work out.
In the past there was a girl into me that I wasn't into a all and told her it wasn't going to work out via text. I felt like an ass do this time I said to myself id do it on the phone.
Most awkward conversation ever. I felt horrible.
She texted me to call her and I did and we chatted and all was well. Then I hinted Id be too busy to hang out son and that got her suspicious. So I just admitted I was stressing a lot about stuff and that I'm not in the right mind to date anyone right now.
I hate it but I told her the it's not you it's me speech. That wasn't enough and she wanted to know why I've been stressed. She admitted she hasn't dated in a long time and really liked me. Just made me feel worse. Then I ended with "have a nice weekend"
She just sounded devastated. I feel terrible that I'm sure I ruined her day. On the other hand, we went on TWO dates. Imagine if I kept dating her not really into it and then broke it off in a month or two?
It's shitty but these things happen. I've been on the other end before. I jus wonder if talking about it was the right thing to do it should I have just let things fizzle out.
Now I just need to figure out how to tell Star I'm not interested in her.
But i think I'll wait a few days.
