This is horrible. It's been getting really bad. I'm just jonzing out!
Is this normal? I guess it makes sense at age 27. Man I feel sorry for people who remain virgins until their 40's (or dead!).
My thoughts have been completely insane lately. I look at women on the street, bus, park, etc. and I'm no longer being bashful inside. Instead, the first thought in my mind is "What an ass!". This totally isn't who I am, and it scares me. It scares me because I think I'm becoming like every other guy out there.
I realized that I keep joking with RM2 about having sex. What's worse is I even started talking to Wendy on Facebook again and I admitted how I"d have sex with Wendy if it were to come to that.
What's happening to me?!
(P.S. I had originally accidently posted this on my old public blog that my Uncle still reads... Even though I deleted it, I hope he doesn't e-mail me asking me about this!)
4 comments:
ok, maybe I'm out of line here... but FINALLY!
I've watched you deny and deny your natural HUMAN instincts.. telling yourself "I'm not looking to get laid.. I'm better than that". But the thing is, it's completely normal and it's healthy to want sex! There's nothing wrong with it.
Once you admit to yourself that you are a sexual being, then you can start to be honest with yourself and become comfortable with your sexuality. and girls are attracted to guys who are comfortable with their sexuality.
Man, if it helps.
- I lost my virginity at 28th. I am a good looking narcissist type of person who needed to have every single step quantified and be totally secure of success in order to do it. I spent years watching my peers dating, I spent years watching porno. At 27 I started to freak out (I never dated anyone), but since I consider myself smart, I designed a strategy (everyone that has our problem have to do it by himself so after you do it you get super-confident). I would join www.meetup.com, I would pretend I'm someone I am not.
And guess what, it worked out, I got laid, with a girl that was a part-time model until few years ago!. And she still thinks that I have decades of experience! (I always been confident that I can copy and mimic things by just watching, that happened with porno. Of course I didn't treat my date as a porno-artist, I just stick to the traditional positions, after I gain her confidence to explore new ones :) )
Of course the biggest problem that I have now (6 months after, and keep making her happy on bed) is avoiding to give too much info about my past. But I'm prepare to say it, and also with the confidence gained, I don't care if she dump me, I know that I can go out and get laid quickly (in the past months I had dozens of girls approaching to me at clubs, I know how to dance, I have money, and after my blooming, I'm ultra-confident).
But you know what, it is much better to be in love and have a meaningful relationship. I know I gotta fight my narcissism (I self-diagnosed myself, but I guess I am not far from a real one) first in order to do that. Sex is overrated, what people keep struggling the most is with relationships.
But so far so good, although once I got laid I got lots of regrets, why did I waited so long!. Now I leave a life with tons of responsibilities, I don't have time to meditate and learn what I've done.
- Next in my "to do list": Get a psychotherapist, I feel I will create a sex monster soon. Cause I know that throughout my life girls were interested in me, I need to catch up from all the wasted years. I just was too coward to put myself in a position of fail. And I developed passion for my career and hobbies that replaced relationships and sex (well, we know how to masturbate doesn't it?).
Evaluate why you are a late bloomer in term of dating. I was doing my own research, there are some social-phobics, disable people, ugly people, religious people, perfectionists, narcissists, people that had some life-challenges like living with their parents (either because they are lazy or because they are taking care of family members), etc.
Good look, I'll keep an eye on your blog, it is awesome, maybe one day, when I really feel like I recovered from my wasted years, and when I stop having regrets, and I feel like I am less narcissist than I used to be. I will write a blog, and probably a book.
p.d.: I've set up a date to start looking for a marriage partner, 2012, with 32, and 4 years of catching up, I guess I will be ready for something more rewarding. I still have lots to learn about life. Better late than never.
I have to 2nd what leigh says... you are a human. I have days when I barely get anything done at work because I'm focused on sex... and I'm no virgin!! LOL rocco also has interesting advice - go out and don a persona that is not a virgin, who has been laid many many times, knows how to go down on a woman like a fiend, screw her until she is wiped out... and you'll put out that vibe.
Best of luck! (sorry I didn't see this post sooner!)
...it could be "All Day I Dream About Sex", or ADIDAS
that's what they used to say, anyways. not about me, though.
* : )
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