Indie Rock Girl

instead of having my normal hectic Sunday of a 2 hour workshop, followed by a second 2 hour workshop followed by a 2 hour performance, resulting in my coming home at around 11:30pm, I decided to take it easy tonight.

I've been feeling a bit under the weather over the past couple of days, most likely from having a stressful week and figured better to rest than push my body.

About 2 weeks ago, I had responded at a craigslist ad from a girl looking for a concert buddy. We'll call her Indie Rock Girl (or IRG). IRG has lived in My City for almost 2 years for school and is leaving in May to go back home in the U.S. She posted it in the Strictly Platonic section stating she was looking for a friend but also in brackets "or something more".

I figured since she's only here for a short time, no harm in meeting her. In the worst case, I'll make a new friend.

I've hung out with her a few times now over the past 2 weeks and I'm cross about my feelings for her. My first impression was that she is quiet and very plain looking. I'll admit she's not the prettiest girl I've ever met, but definitely not the ugliest either. She;s somewhere in the middle. Her personality, on the other had is amazing. She was pretty shy at our first encounter but she seems a lot more open to talk to me now that we hung out a bit. She's also very quirky in a way that she sees things different and I find that cute. For example, we had coffee the other day and IRG asked me if I've ever seen someone with a peg leg before. I was a bit confused by that but she continued to explain that she saw a foot print followed by a round hole in the snow earlier that day. It was most likely someone with a cane or a crutch (and perhaps one leg) but I thought it was awesome she had this imagination or was joking that it could be a peg leg (maybe a pirate?).

I ended up spending most the evening with her tonight. We had coffee and then I invited her over to hang out. We played a board game and then she taught me a game of cards I'd never played before. It was cool because it all happened by coincidence. I had called her to ask her something and then we got into talking and I discovered she'd be in the same area as I would later in the day so we agreed to meet up. She told me later on that she normally doesn't have her phone on but when I had called her she had forgot to turn it off and she only heard it because it rang just as she was picking up her bag.

My major problem is a feel so scatter-brained about this whole thing. I think she's really cool and am really enjoying the fact that I now have someone I can hang out with on a regular basis. However, part of me is hoping something else will come out of this. I'm a shy guy and she comes across as an even shyer person. My strategy of hoping that the other person makes a move first will never work here.

I don't think I'll ever be able to tell if she's interested in me as more than a friend or just being shy. I can't tell yet if she's looking for more than just friends either. right now I see that shes just enjoying spending time with someone new. She doesn't seem to have a lot of close friends and she doesn't really enjoy living in My City anymore.

Meanwhile I'm afraid of doing anything. I like her company and since she's here for a short time, I wouldn't want to ruin it by making a move and finding otu she just wants to be friends. On the other hand, she's here for a short time and it wouldn't hurt to try and make a move. If she's not interested, well it didnt matter much because she'll be leaving soon anyways.

In any case, I'm going to just wait it off a bit. Have fun regardless. The only ehard thing is making sure i don't spend my time with her, while stuck in my head. I gat that way sometimes. When I'm with a girl adn I'm having thoughts (not dirty thoughts, well not all the time, haha) about doing soemthing (like lean in and kiss, put an arm around them, tickle them, etc.) and then end up not really paying much attention to them or even trying to do anything about it.

I'm going to wait it out and see what happens. In the meantime, I had invited IRG to come watch the LOST premiere with my friends and I and she accepeted.

So we'll just have to see.

The case of the Ex

No, this is not another post about my ex-girlfriend. The "ex" I'm referring to is my brother Ira's ex. My brother was married for several years until his wife went crazy and left him because she "fell out f love" with him. She had problems.

After the divorce he did meet a nice girl online and they dated for several months. He had dated other people since he was divorced but she was the only one he dated for that long. Even after they broke up, he has had a real girlfriend since her.

The reason he ended things with her was because, as he told me, he felt he wasn't mentally stimulated by her. He didn't feel that they talked about anything really intelligent. When they did break up she was really upset and told him that he was the best thing to ever happen to her. This is only after a few months dating. Maybe 6 tops. Six months and she couldn't live without him? Pretty intense.

Over the past year and a half she has tried to keep in touch with him even though he has no interest in her. He's discovered she dated another guy for a while. She even called him to hook him up with one of her own friends. Basically it seems like she just won't leave him alone.

This past Friday Ira asked me to listen to a message she left on his phone. Basically it was just her saying sorry she couldn't attend this event he had invited her to on Facebook (he has just invited anyone), hoped he was feeling better (he was sick recently and wrote that on facebook) and wants him to give her a call sometime.

Now Ira is not an idiot. For someone who he hasn't spoken to in a very long time, she sounds like nothing is different and wants to see him again. The crappy thing for Ira is that he's tempted to call her. He's been thinking a lot and trying to convince himself to reconsider his situation. Originally he was bored of her so he dumped her. Now, he sees that she's showing him a lot of interest and he's lonely and alone so if he wants to fill that space, he can easily start things up with her again. I told him to avoid that. That if he's only changing things because he feels lonely, then what is the point. Better that he waits and meet someone he really likes that just go with Miss Right Now. Am I right?

I felt the same way when I broke up with Wendy. For a short while after, it seemed almost too easy to just go back to her but I insisted on not doing so and then eventually she found someone else and left me alone and I got to do my own thing. It was hard for a while because I felt alone but whatever. Look at me now. I'm out and about and super busy with the things I like and I'm meeting lots of girls. Ira has been doing the same thing which is why I don't want him to make te wrong ohoice for the wrong reasons.

Two Weeks later

It's been two weeks sinceI've been de-flowered. I'm having a hard time finding stuff to write now. I figured I just give a very quick recap (it's late and I should be sleeping) of the past 2 weeks:

- From the few people I've told, I keep getting big "congratulations" and "Mazol Tovs" like I've won the Nobel prize. I'm sure a few people are finally cashing in on their bets they made years ago.

- I've actually chatted a couple of times online with the girl fro Florida. Over the break we e-mailed each other everyday. Now that we are both busy, it's slowed down a lot. We tried all week to meet up online. Finally when we did, I found it pretty boring. Real long distant Internet dating to be seems impossible.

- I answered a Craigslist ad from a girl looking for a concert buddy. She seems pretty cool. She's a couple of years older, likes the same music as I do and is moving out of My City in May. She come off a bit shy but I can tell she's got a fun side to her too. Last Friday I went over to her place and played indie rock songs on my guitar. I suck at guitar but that night I was killing it. Our relationship will most likely be strictly platonic but she seems pretty gung ho to hang out often which is nice.

- I've seen the girl I slept with last Sunday and yesterday at the theatre we both attend. I haven't mentioned a word of what happened and neither has she. Last night got a tad awkward when her, myself and another friend walked home and our friend reached her destination first, leaving the 2 of us alone. I could have brought it up. I could have told her I was a virgin before that night. But, instead I broke the silence with "Have you seen Avatar yet?"

That is all for now!

Goodnight.

Am I shallow?

I got home late from spending time at my parents place for supper. I'm tired. Have to work tomorrow. As I'm getting things ready for tomorrow, I see a friend contacting me on MSN. We start talking and she's very nervous and upset with what is happening in Haiti. I don't follow the news that much but I heard about he earthquake and I'm sorry about it but that's all I'm really doing. I'm not grabbing my passport and jumping on a plane to help anyone. So I start to feel a bit guilty. Then my friend starts sending me horrible photos of what is happening there and I started to feel horrified and sad.

All of a sudden I just wanted to be alone. So I told my friend I need to have quiet time and go to sleep. She was confused about what that meant so I simply said that I need to be alone and that she should have a goodnight.

Then, I receive one final MSN message from her stating that I'm upsetting her because she always listens to me talk about stuff but I never listen to her. This isn't the first time that she's accused me of that, and I will admit sometimes it's true, but now I feel like shit.

I totally don't believe that this time I was ignoring her. I have this weird thing with MSN. When I'm on MSN I'm always doing something else. I never go on MSN to just chat. It's a background thing for me. I never want to have serious talks on there, yet this one friend always brings up real deep conversations and then get upset when I sound distant or don't respond to her right away.

It's beyon even apologizing to her this time. I think it's best i just leave her be for a while.

It Finally Happened

On January 10th, 2010, at around 3:30am, at the age of 28, I lost my virginity.

It happened sort of out of the blue. What started as drinks with friends ended up with me in my bed with a friend of mine who was flirting with me earlier in the night.

We had been talking about a movie we both liked and she had mentioned how she would love to watch it again sometime. having owned that particular movie, I invited her over at 2am as we left the bar and she accepted while we held hands all the way to my place.

I'll spare you the details but once in my room, I set up the movie so we'd have to watch it in my bed. Immediately after it started we went at it for a while. It then became the time of the hour, now or never.

I asked her if she wanted me to get a condom and she said yes. At first I was having man issues again but will a little patience it finally worked and we had intercourse.

For 30 seconds.

Did it feel good? Yes. Did it blow my mind? No. Did I feel changed? Not really.

It made me realize that after having at least fooled around with other girls before, going all the way wasn't such an extra leap.

I could tell she want to go at it again but I felt so exhausted, I was barely able to stay awake. Let alone stay hard.

The only scary moment of the night was when the condom fell off as I pulled out. She freaked out a little and was exclaiming how she'd need to take the morning after pill. However, the next morning she was more calm about it and was sure everything was ok.

Just my luck to lose my virginity and find out 9 months later I have a kid.

The major weird thing about the whole situation was that she is a friend of mine. Not close friends but not really someone I'd want not pursue on a regular basis. I felt we were in the moment last night and went for it but it's not really something I'd want to continue.

I took her out for breakfast this morning and I think I got the same vibe from her as we were departing in opposite directions.

Well, looks like things could only go up from here.

A Step Closer

Today I received a few e-mails from the girl I danced and made out with. We are now facebook friends and I'm finding out if she has MSN (to soon?).

She's from a difference province in Canada. It's funny how now I have 2 long distnce girls to chat with. At least she is in the same country as I am. The other girl is in Florida and a lot further away.

Speaking of which, that girl also wrote back to me today. I'm just becoming an internet player.

Hopefully the increase in distance will be a trend and soon enough I'll meet someone interesting in my own city. Down the street would be nice, haha.

2010 - Off To A Great Start

My streak of horrible New Years Eve nights has finally ended.

In 2006 I spent the whole night in a "dating game" circle. Person A wanted B, B wanted C, C wanted D. In the end we all got nothing.

In 2007 I was breaking up with Wendy. I was on the phone from 1am - 4 am listening to her cry while super drunk. Fun times.

In 2008 I was sick from my trip to the Dominican and then stress at work. The party was ok but it was hard to enjoy myself feeling shitty.

This year: No heart aches, no breaks ups, no sickness. Just slow dancing!

My buddy from university is in town and we normally spend New Years Eve together. He brought along a couple he's good friends with. They showed up at my apartment by 9pm having already started drinking. Ira was over to hang out before he headed out to his party of the night (another fetish party).

I caught up a it with the drinks and then we got ready to head out. The plan was to hop around at several parties and then end up at a "crazy warehouse party" my friend kept talking about that was out in the middle of nowhere but sounded like a very promising place to end the night.

I stocked a bag full of alcohol. All kinds of beer bottles and a whole bottle of Bacardi rum. This bag would never end up being opened.

We arrived at our first destination at around 10:30pm. It was a tiny theatre space with 2 bars offering a slow dance party all night long. It was free to get in and cheap drinks. Once inside, we were handed a little booklet with all the slow songs that were set to play. The point was to dance with anyone you want for each song. If you didn't have a dance partner, there were designated dancers with a sash walking around, making sure you didn't feel left out. After every 10 slow songs, there was a 10 minute "break" and they switched to more dancier tunes.

Entering the dance floor, even at 10:30pm is was off to a good start. A lot of people were dancing and seemed into the fun of the whole event. It was quite entertaining.

So much so, that we never left. And with good reason!

It felt very High School-ish but unlike my high school experience, I had no trouble dancing with multiple girls. Everyone was nice and friendly. Chatting while dancing. I met a lot of people who lived outside of My City and were either just visiting friends or lived here for school. A few girls caught my eye but I didn't feel like singling anyone out just yet.

I was dressed to impress that night, sporting a hat and tie.


Chicks loved the hat and tie! After flirting a while, I would give them a chance to wear either or both.

I was dancing with a really cute girl at the song right before midnight, so at the countdown, she had switched to dance with someone else. I was alone and ended up cheering with my buddy when the countdown commenced. No midnight kiss for me though. No worries, since I had plenty of that after midnight.

I can't remember what time it was but at one point I ended up talking to one of the girls I danced with earlier and we had our second dance together. She was at the party with a friend who lived in My City and she was visiting her.

Seeing that they were 2 girls and we were 2 guys (my buddy's friends had already left), I called my buddy over to join us. I went to get another beer and saw him kind of dancing with the girl I had my eye on (it was at a fast dance period of the night) and I did something totally out of my character. Instead of letting it go, I whispered in his ear that I had my eye on her from before and asked if we could switch girls. He was totally ok with that and we swapped places casually.

It turned out that the other girl had a boyfriend who wasn't at the party but I could tell that the girl I was with was enjoying my company. It switched back to the slow songs and I asked he dance yet again. By now we had danced 3 or 4 times and we had been there well over a couple of hours so I decided to see if I could make a move.

I noticed from most of the girls I danced with that they would put their hand in mine if they were just being friendly and having a dance. However, I could tell that when you held hands with your fingers crossed it felt a bit more intimate. So, I came up with a plan. We started dancing with hands held the normal way and then I slid my fingers around hers and pulled her in closer to me. She didn't reject the advance so I put my head down closer to hers (she was a lot shorter than me) and finally moved in for a kiss.

We ended up dancing and making out several times. At times she was concerned of finding her friend but wasn't in a rush to get rid of me. She was winding down at one point by the bar but (and I owe this person a lot!), a bartender handed her a free glass of champagne and she had renewed energy!

Eventually, the 2 girls decided to call it a night. I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that it was her friend who recommended I giver her my e-mail address so she could get pictures I took of all of us earlier in the night. So I did.

I don't expect anything but regardless I had fun. My buddy kept telling me the whole night (and even this morning - he crashed over) that she was a real hottie and he was proud of me. Um... OK. She was hot though. She looked a lot like Emma Stone (from Superbad and Zombieland).

I would had been content already calling it a good night but then things got even crazier. I had a lot of potential for more but I didn't pursue much and then missed out.

First a girl walked by me, grabbed my hat and then started to pose for my camera. Then she grabbed me kissed me quickly and pulled me aside. She said she wanted to tell me how beautiful I was and how she loved me or something. Weird. Then we hit the dance floor and I could have made a move but she just went up to another guy and started making out, so I ditched that scene.

Even later in the night I was talking to a friend and then another friend calls me over and introduces me to 2 girls he's with, 1 of them looking for a dance partner. I accepted and we danced for a few songs in a row. She was really hot and was dancing with me really close. I should have made a move but waited too long and then a guy I know came in and took her for the next dance. As soon as I left they started making out. Oh well.

Not much happened the rest of the night except near the end I tried making a move on a 4th girl. I tried all the same steps as I did with the girl i made out earlier but when I got to the kiss chick, she pulled away and said "thank you for the dance" and walked away. It was nice that she sounded sincere but was also letting me know she just wasn't interested in making out.

The place shut down at 5am so my buddy and I high tailed it to a pizza joint for some grub before crashing at my place.

So, a night of slow dancing, making out, hot women, crazy chicks, alcohol and good company. 2010 started off with a bang!