On The Fence

Tonight I was at a dinner party. My good friend Spider Dude is back in town for a month from Australia. I ended up spending most of the night chatting with another friend, I'll call Tall Friend (yup she's tall). Tall Friend has been bugging me lately about my progress with Cute Jew 2.

She was curious on how things are going and I said "OK". It's not the first time and she's not the first person to mention that I don't really sound so into her from my reaction.

I've been really all over the place with CJ2. She's cute and interesting but a few things bother me. She's short, seems inexperienced, and not very independent. It's mostly the exact opposite of what I liked so much about Indie Rock Girl.

IRG lived on her own, not very far from me. She was very outgoing and seemed very independent. She knew what she wanted and would tell me as it were.

CJ2 lives with her parents far away, and is extremely shy. At first I thought i could live with these things but if they are bothering me now, then there is no point leading her on.

I realize on top of all that, that I think I just don't really want to date date right now (or at least not with her). Tall Friend was telling me how she just joined OK Cupid and just wants to meet new people and get out there and also admitted to being open to casual sex.

Now I'm not saying I want to go out and sleep on the first date with every girl I meet, but that's kind of what I feel like I want as well. Just to meet different people and see what happens. GO out and have fun.

I met CJ2, find out she likes me and already have been on 5 dates in two weeks. If i keep that up I'll definitely be misleading her and also won't have the time to meet other people.

I've been on the fence with her but I think I've made up my mind that she's not for me in that way. I'd still like to hang out with her perhaps once in a while but not spend all my free time with her.

She invited me to a party tomorrow night which I'll still attend but I think I'll just let her know afterwards that I'm just not in the right frame of mind to date right now which is the truth. I am pretty preoccupied with moving and also will be spending a lot of time looking for a new job once the new year begins and I'm all settled into my new apartment.

Then again, before dinner tonight, I had it in my head that I was going to try and finally get a kiss from her.


See what I mean by being on the fence? However, I think it's true that I'm not really into her and the whole point of writing this post was for me to wake up and be aware of the obvious.

Well, I'll post what happens later this weekend.