Day Three

Today was Boxing Day and I got through it pretty well. I had a lot of things keeping my mind off of Wendy. I guess tons of shoppers and crazy sales can have that effect. Maybe shopping can be a cure for depression?

I was in a good mood all night, reveling in the things i bought super cheap at the mall earlier that day.

Then before bed, I got the unexpected.

I had been watching TV and left my phone by my bed. Before going to sleep I checked it and had missed a text message.

It was from Wendy.

It said "Just to let you know I miss you".

Upon reading that, a whole bunch of feelings just flooded through me:

I felt special - By saying that she obviously still cares about me and it felt good to finally hear form her even though she said she wanted no contact for the entire week.

I felt angry - How much could she really mean those words? She likes me but but wants something more serious. She wants something serious but not sure if she wants it with me. From her e-mail I can guess that she wants to end it. If thats the case than why even care? I figure that it's a defense mechanism that we have. We want to end things but also feel bad for our actions. We want things for ourselves but would rather have things finish on a good note than bad. I know for a fact that I would feel terrible knowing that someone is angry at me for my actions, so I try to make things right. But in the end it's for you and not the other person.

Is that what Wendy is doing, or are her words really sincere?

I felt confused - Sunday I could 100% say that we needed to break up. Now I was thinking "is this really what I want? Why do things have to get all complicated?

In the end I wrote back saying that I was sorry I missed the text (from two hours earlier) and that I missed her too.

Maybe now she'll be confused as well.