The Dreaded E-mail

I've been dating this girl - let's call her Wendy - for almost a year now.She is my first real girlfriend (Note: I'm in my mid twenties, hence the name of the blog).

Things were pretty good.

We enjoyed each other's company, talked a lot on the phone, hung out a lot and never fought. However, I started to feel some doubt about our relationship. I really like her but have feeling a lack of connection for a while now. I probably should have mentioned something sooner but being shy and her being my first girlfriend, I wasn't really sure what to do, how to do it and when to do it.

Then, earlier this morning, I received an e-mail from her. I knew something couldn't be right. She never sends me e-mails; She'd just call me instead.

The e-mail was pretty long. Wendy was basically telling me that she's not sure where we're going as a couple. She feels she's getting to the point where in her life she's ready for something more serious. That alone is something for me to really think about, but the real clincher is she's not sure if she wants to get serious with me.

It's funny but instead of getting angry or feeling sad, my initial reaction was just "Ok, it's official, we need to break up." I was having doubts for a few months but was enjoying my time with her and not looking for anything serious enough, that it kept me going. Now that she's saying she has doubts too and that I may be holding her back, than I'm just being selfish if we stay together.

Even if we fix that lack of connection and really start getting close and serious, then it's a "forever or never" thing. I can't do that.

How can I?

I've never had a girlfriend before her. I have no one to compare her to. It's a scary thing to commit with the first person you meet. I fell it truly is different dating for the first time when your 25 than when you're 15. At 15 you have no worries because you have so many years to meet others and everyone is in the same boat. But at 25, a lot of people have dated others and know what they're looking for by now.

She's had many boyfriends, I have only had her.

So you're saying "Ok Elwood, I get it, you're rambling on about how it's over. So you guys 'had the talk' and it's over right?"

Wrong...

She's currently in another city visiting friends. We've agreed to talk about it when she gets back by New Years Eve (well she never even told me a specific day she's back), so I have to wait at least seven days!

Let's see how I handle that...