So I've been in this situation before and I HATE it. I'm getting too excited over a girl.
I've had enough dating experiences to know what has worked and what hasn't. Getting too excited hasn't. I feel I'm repeating. Sure it's ok to be excited that a date went well, but I can't stop thinking about how well it went and also doing that thing where you start fantasizing all kinds of scenarios of dates to come. Do other people do this or am I just crazy?
I'm trying to not think about it and really not make it a big deal. We met once, had fun chatting and kissed. It's normal and doesn't mean anything per se, it's possible there won't be a second date. She could change her mind or have just been playing up the fact she liked me but didn't. A million things could happen.
Well, one thing did happen. She asked me out again.
I had waited 2 days to text her. I had the intention of asking her myself. I had decided judging by her busy schedule (Friday was her only day off) and by the fact I would probably be tired myself from my busy week, I wanted to suggest that I cook us dinner and watch Netflix rather than go out.
I was worried she would feel uncomfortable to do that since we just met and I'm already inviting her over. Is dinner and a movie at home a normal 2nd date? I just didn't want her to think all I want to do is jump in her pants.
When she beat me to it and confirmed she wanted to meet Friday, I sneakily gave her 2 options: 1. Go out to a show that sounds interesting. 2. Stay in, let me cook and watch a movie.
She warned me she's really indecisive when it comes to picking things for a date. I tried my best to causally say how option 2 sounds better (when really that's all I really wanted to do) still with the worry of her rejecting the whole idea.
Again she surprised me and said yes to that.
EXCITING!
If I was going crazy before I think now I'm completely insane. I'm trying really hard not to think about it but it's tough. And this is where I get upset about myself. If I over think things I know I can never enjoy them because I'm building too much hype. It's like Star Wars episode 1. So much hype and anticipation, such a terrible movie.
Anyways, I just need to get through today and tomorrow without having a nervous breakdown and I think I'll be ok. I just wish I could be casual about these things than get too excited like that kid in the YouTube video when he finds out he got a Nintendo 64 for Christmas. I'm 33, so I should stop acting like I'm 12.
Well here's to the two longest days ever.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Saturday, December 6, 2014
The Cute Princess
It was Sunday. 3 days since I got the phone number of Cute Princess (which I will refer to as CP from now on). My plan was to wait at least until that day to contact her. I didn't want to come across eager.
I didn't get the chance. She beat me to it. I was busy in the afternoon but checked my phone and saw she left me a message saying it was nice meeting me.
Later that night we texted for a bit and arranged a date. It turned out the only day she was free that week was Monday. So we met up the next day at a bar.
I'm not amazing with dating (otherwise this blog would be called The Amazing Date Bloomer) but I think the date went extremely well.
The bar we picked was nice but not crowded, so we could hear ourselves talk. And talk we did for 3 hours!
I read once that you don't want your dates to drag on too long. That it's good to have a goal to leave at a certain time. However, we just lost track of time.
I learned a lot about her on the first date. Examples were she's into geeky things like role playing. She's getting into costume making. She admits to being awkward. She's into classic rock. All things I enjoy/can relate to.
CP made it easy for me because she mentioned more than once that this was a date. So I didn't have to wonder about it.
We finished our first drink and I could see she had no hesitation to stay for a second one.
Once it started to get late and our 2nd beers were done, we paid for out drinks and headed outside.
We were headed in opposite directions. Normally I dread the end of dates because I never know what to do or say. Don't want to sound too eager to meet again and never sure what they will say.
She made it easy for me again.
She told me she had a really good time and was glad we met. Then she asked me how we want to go about our goodbye, if in one who kisses on the first date or not.
I've never been asked that before. Only once did I kiss on the first date and even then I wasn't really into the person. Here was different. I wanted to kiss her but was surprised she wanted the same.
Before doing anything I just had to bring up one thing. From the stories we were sharing I calculated she has to be anywhere from 10 to 8 years younger than me. I just wanted her to know that.
She said she figured that out too when she Facebook stalked me. This made me laugh.
Then we kissed.
It was nice. It wasn't a quick peck. She kissed me at least 3 times. We probably could have made out but I wanted to keep it short and save that for later, if there is a later.
We said goodbye again and she said to text her and we went our separate ways
I didn't get the chance. She beat me to it. I was busy in the afternoon but checked my phone and saw she left me a message saying it was nice meeting me.
Later that night we texted for a bit and arranged a date. It turned out the only day she was free that week was Monday. So we met up the next day at a bar.
I'm not amazing with dating (otherwise this blog would be called The Amazing Date Bloomer) but I think the date went extremely well.
The bar we picked was nice but not crowded, so we could hear ourselves talk. And talk we did for 3 hours!
I read once that you don't want your dates to drag on too long. That it's good to have a goal to leave at a certain time. However, we just lost track of time.
I learned a lot about her on the first date. Examples were she's into geeky things like role playing. She's getting into costume making. She admits to being awkward. She's into classic rock. All things I enjoy/can relate to.
CP made it easy for me because she mentioned more than once that this was a date. So I didn't have to wonder about it.
We finished our first drink and I could see she had no hesitation to stay for a second one.
Once it started to get late and our 2nd beers were done, we paid for out drinks and headed outside.
We were headed in opposite directions. Normally I dread the end of dates because I never know what to do or say. Don't want to sound too eager to meet again and never sure what they will say.
She made it easy for me again.
She told me she had a really good time and was glad we met. Then she asked me how we want to go about our goodbye, if in one who kisses on the first date or not.
I've never been asked that before. Only once did I kiss on the first date and even then I wasn't really into the person. Here was different. I wanted to kiss her but was surprised she wanted the same.
Before doing anything I just had to bring up one thing. From the stories we were sharing I calculated she has to be anywhere from 10 to 8 years younger than me. I just wanted her to know that.
She said she figured that out too when she Facebook stalked me. This made me laugh.
Then we kissed.
It was nice. It wasn't a quick peck. She kissed me at least 3 times. We probably could have made out but I wanted to keep it short and save that for later, if there is a later.
We said goodbye again and she said to text her and we went our separate ways
Friday, December 5, 2014
Halloween 2014 - Day 3
I didn't expect to do anything Halloween related on Nov. 1st but last minute was invited by a friend to join him at a party.
It could not have worked out more perfect. The house party turned out to be right across the street from my apartment building so I was able to go home and get my costume.
We arrive at the party and it's packed and full of people wearing really impressive costumes. Apparently the host is known for throwing fun Halloween parties. A group of people even showed up as other character from the cartoon my costume was inspired.
I even knew someone there and met a bunch of fun new people.
It was the experience I needed to boost my confidence and just have fun. It was a great night and I'm glad I can think back to that night for Halloween rather than Katie's party and feel down how it didn't live up to last year.
It could not have worked out more perfect. The house party turned out to be right across the street from my apartment building so I was able to go home and get my costume.
We arrive at the party and it's packed and full of people wearing really impressive costumes. Apparently the host is known for throwing fun Halloween parties. A group of people even showed up as other character from the cartoon my costume was inspired.
I even knew someone there and met a bunch of fun new people.
It was the experience I needed to boost my confidence and just have fun. It was a great night and I'm glad I can think back to that night for Halloween rather than Katie's party and feel down how it didn't live up to last year.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Halloween 2014 - Day 2
Friday night was Katie's party. I had no idea what to expect. I made sure to have plans earlier so I would arrive late.
I cabbed over with a few friends and arrived at 11:30pm. The party was packed and full of people I know. That made me feel good since that's the real reason I went - to see my friends. Having gone just for Katie would have been awkward.
I briefly saw her ad I walked in. She liked my costume and went off to other people. I mostly hung out with my friends throughout the night. I did get a chance to chat with a. Few of Katie's friends I'd hung out with when we dated. That was a bit tough.
One guy was all "hey! Good to see you! I'm sorry we lost touch but it was tough because you were cool but I'm Katie's friend...". Yeah. Save it. It's ok really.
I did get to talk to Katie later on in the night but any sparks we had are totally gone. She made it sound like she's want to remain friends after the break up but It doesn't feel genuine when I talk to her now.
I'm glad I went so I could discover that and finally feel done with her. The night wasn't really eventful and because I had SUCH an experience last year, this night felt flat.
I had fun but went home and just went to bed.
I cabbed over with a few friends and arrived at 11:30pm. The party was packed and full of people I know. That made me feel good since that's the real reason I went - to see my friends. Having gone just for Katie would have been awkward.
I briefly saw her ad I walked in. She liked my costume and went off to other people. I mostly hung out with my friends throughout the night. I did get a chance to chat with a. Few of Katie's friends I'd hung out with when we dated. That was a bit tough.
One guy was all "hey! Good to see you! I'm sorry we lost touch but it was tough because you were cool but I'm Katie's friend...". Yeah. Save it. It's ok really.
I did get to talk to Katie later on in the night but any sparks we had are totally gone. She made it sound like she's want to remain friends after the break up but It doesn't feel genuine when I talk to her now.
I'm glad I went so I could discover that and finally feel done with her. The night wasn't really eventful and because I had SUCH an experience last year, this night felt flat.
I had fun but went home and just went to bed.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Halloween 2014 - Day 1
I originally planned on writing about my experience with Katie to help me get over her and then stop. However, I think i may continue for a while as long as I'm inspired and have relevant things to talk about.
Well this past weekend was full of relevant material. So let's start with day one of my Halloween experience in 2014.
As mentioned before, I LOVE dressing up for Halloween. Been a passion of mine for the last 10 years. Every year spending weeks creating my costume. Materials are usually cardboard and tape but I've upgraded to adding fabric to the mix too. This year was no exception where I dressed up as a popular cartoon character from my childhood.
In My City, there's a guy that puts on geeky and interesting events and one of them is a Slow Dance Party. At a normal party, its usually dance music with a slow song sprinkled in here or there. This is the opposite. The main music is slow dance music.
You're encouraged to always be dancing with a partner. It may sound creepy to dance with a total stranger but it's not. That's what I love about this event. The organizer makes sure it's friendly for everyone. There are volunteers to make sure you're not just sitting on the side, if you're shy to ask someone to dance. Also it's open to all orientations, so there will be guys dancing with guys, queer with straight, etc.
I've gone before (it happens 2-3 times a year) but this one was on the 30th so costumes were encouraged.
I was supposed to go with some friends but they bailed last minute. I almost didn't go myself as I had a headache but I spent so much time on my Halloween costume I wanted to wear it and test it out.
The event started at 9pm. I got there around 9:30pm and only stayed an hour because I had to work the next day.
I was worried it would be dead until around the time I left but surprisingly there was a decent crowd. I also enjoyed the fact most people were dressed up in cool costumes.
I ended up dancing and meeting a bunch of nice people. It's like a meet and greet because you end up chatting the entire 3-4 min you're together. It's always stuff like "what's your name?where are you from? Are you a student or working?" And for this time "nice costume" or "what are you dressed as?".
I'm not shy to ask people to dance myself (in fact I've volunteered before), so I would approach people on the side. There was a cute girl, dressed as a princess, sitting down, her friends all dancing. I asked her to dance and she said maybe later. Not an unusual response, so I went to get a drink instead.
I danced for a bit longer and then had to leave. As I was saying my goodbyes to a friend, that cute girl from before approached me and asked me to dance. I had time for one more, so why not?
We danced and chatted and it was nice. I learned she likes dressing up and making her own costumes and goes to comicon dressed up (I do too!).
When the song ended we both thanked each other but the way she said goodbye... It lingered a bit. Like she wanted to say something or wanted me to. I awkwardly said goodbye and walked away.
I said my goodbyes to a few people and changed out of my costume. The entire time feeling I may have missed my chance on something. As I exited the bathroom, I saw her sitting down alone again. Now was my chance.
I approached her and said it was nice chatting but too short and asked her out for a drink.
She stared back at me for a couple of seconds and then said yes. We swapped numbers.
As I was leaving for real, when I got to the door, she had come running after me. She was worried she gave me the wrong number because my text hadn't arrived yet. Just then it did. Said goodbye again and I walked home.
I'm TERRIBLE at signals and could have easily done nothing. I'm also super shy. However, she gave me her number! And then made sure I had it. This isn't behavior of someone trying to blow me off. It was a nice feeling when walking home.
Well this past weekend was full of relevant material. So let's start with day one of my Halloween experience in 2014.
As mentioned before, I LOVE dressing up for Halloween. Been a passion of mine for the last 10 years. Every year spending weeks creating my costume. Materials are usually cardboard and tape but I've upgraded to adding fabric to the mix too. This year was no exception where I dressed up as a popular cartoon character from my childhood.
In My City, there's a guy that puts on geeky and interesting events and one of them is a Slow Dance Party. At a normal party, its usually dance music with a slow song sprinkled in here or there. This is the opposite. The main music is slow dance music.
You're encouraged to always be dancing with a partner. It may sound creepy to dance with a total stranger but it's not. That's what I love about this event. The organizer makes sure it's friendly for everyone. There are volunteers to make sure you're not just sitting on the side, if you're shy to ask someone to dance. Also it's open to all orientations, so there will be guys dancing with guys, queer with straight, etc.
I've gone before (it happens 2-3 times a year) but this one was on the 30th so costumes were encouraged.
I was supposed to go with some friends but they bailed last minute. I almost didn't go myself as I had a headache but I spent so much time on my Halloween costume I wanted to wear it and test it out.
The event started at 9pm. I got there around 9:30pm and only stayed an hour because I had to work the next day.
I was worried it would be dead until around the time I left but surprisingly there was a decent crowd. I also enjoyed the fact most people were dressed up in cool costumes.
I ended up dancing and meeting a bunch of nice people. It's like a meet and greet because you end up chatting the entire 3-4 min you're together. It's always stuff like "what's your name?where are you from? Are you a student or working?" And for this time "nice costume" or "what are you dressed as?".
I'm not shy to ask people to dance myself (in fact I've volunteered before), so I would approach people on the side. There was a cute girl, dressed as a princess, sitting down, her friends all dancing. I asked her to dance and she said maybe later. Not an unusual response, so I went to get a drink instead.
I danced for a bit longer and then had to leave. As I was saying my goodbyes to a friend, that cute girl from before approached me and asked me to dance. I had time for one more, so why not?
We danced and chatted and it was nice. I learned she likes dressing up and making her own costumes and goes to comicon dressed up (I do too!).
When the song ended we both thanked each other but the way she said goodbye... It lingered a bit. Like she wanted to say something or wanted me to. I awkwardly said goodbye and walked away.
I said my goodbyes to a few people and changed out of my costume. The entire time feeling I may have missed my chance on something. As I exited the bathroom, I saw her sitting down alone again. Now was my chance.
I approached her and said it was nice chatting but too short and asked her out for a drink.
She stared back at me for a couple of seconds and then said yes. We swapped numbers.
As I was leaving for real, when I got to the door, she had come running after me. She was worried she gave me the wrong number because my text hadn't arrived yet. Just then it did. Said goodbye again and I walked home.
I'm TERRIBLE at signals and could have easily done nothing. I'm also super shy. However, she gave me her number! And then made sure I had it. This isn't behavior of someone trying to blow me off. It was a nice feeling when walking home.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
The Next Chapter
Like I mentioned before, Katie is back in town and I have seen her a bit here and there. We also chatted a little on Facebook but it's not the same as before.
Before we would chat for a long time. This would be quick answers with long periods of time in-between, from several hours to even days.
At first I was reluctant to chat, than I went trough a period where I was hoping to ignite something again and then after writing all these posts, I think I can say I feel like I've calmed down and am moving on.
Also as mentioned before, Katie is having a Halloween party. She invited me through Facebook. I was in my crazy "I want to get back together" phase and immediately thought it must mean something. We had an amazing time together last year and now I'm invited back!
Well I know it means nothing. All my friends are invited and I'm a friend per se, so totally logical to be invited. Some of my friends find it weird I want to go but I'm sure everything will be fine. In fact I just found out I'm doing a show that night so will be arriving fashionably late with some other people which is what is prefer anyways.
Aside from that I've been busy but not too busy. I've cut down a lot of projects. In putting the gym before anything and it's showing small results.
I couldn't do a push up 2 month ago and now I can do about 40 (in sets of 6). I haven't gained much weight but my muscles are more toned. And the best part is I have more energy.
With the new apartment and all the stuff I learned from my last relationship, I'm ready to just chill for a while and have fun and see what happens.
Before we would chat for a long time. This would be quick answers with long periods of time in-between, from several hours to even days.
At first I was reluctant to chat, than I went trough a period where I was hoping to ignite something again and then after writing all these posts, I think I can say I feel like I've calmed down and am moving on.
Also as mentioned before, Katie is having a Halloween party. She invited me through Facebook. I was in my crazy "I want to get back together" phase and immediately thought it must mean something. We had an amazing time together last year and now I'm invited back!
Well I know it means nothing. All my friends are invited and I'm a friend per se, so totally logical to be invited. Some of my friends find it weird I want to go but I'm sure everything will be fine. In fact I just found out I'm doing a show that night so will be arriving fashionably late with some other people which is what is prefer anyways.
Aside from that I've been busy but not too busy. I've cut down a lot of projects. In putting the gym before anything and it's showing small results.
I couldn't do a push up 2 month ago and now I can do about 40 (in sets of 6). I haven't gained much weight but my muscles are more toned. And the best part is I have more energy.
With the new apartment and all the stuff I learned from my last relationship, I'm ready to just chill for a while and have fun and see what happens.
Monday, December 1, 2014
What I Learned
As up and down things were with Katie I did learn a lot from both her and my experience with her.
- Be more positive. She always had a positive spin on things. Not that I'm only negative but I saw we saw things differently at times. Where I would be more like "I'm excited for this show but I sure hope I perform well", she would be "Woo! This is going to be a kick ass show!.
- Do LESS. I was doing way too much in my life. I really couldn't handle all the projects I put on my plate, and then have time for a girlfriend. And it showed. I got sick so often. I figured this out before we broke up and had already cut things out of my schedule. Also I started going got the gym in my building 3 times a week. It's keeping me home, forcing me to so less and also gives me lots of energy.
- Pay attention. Nothing bugs me more than when I'm talking to someone and they are not listening. I discovered with Katie that I'm just as bad. I think it had to do with being so busy that I was so easily distracted.
- Talk more. We had a huge chat off the top of the relationship that we would communicate if anything was bothering us. We both agreed to not be afraid to voice our opinions and that talking about stuff is the best way to go. Well, that in itself was just talk. Neither of is kept that up.
- No texting. This one ties in with hand last. I'm not really saying no texting at all but I really don't think chatting every night by text message was the way to go. It made it easier for me to pay less attention to what Katie was saying. In my next relationship I'd like to set up a habit of talking on the phone every now and then than just texting all the time.
- Don't let things drag. I saw things weren't working but let it drag on instead if voicing opinion when I first noticed something going on.
- Be more sure of what I want. This has always been a struggle. I'm never sure what I want in a partner. I mean, I know things I'd enjoy in someone but as soon as someone shows interest in me I drop everything and gravitate towards them. Liking someone solely on the basis that they like you isn't enough. I tend to wrestle with if I should give someone a chance if I don't feel it right away. I think that's ok but letting it drag for 9 months, a year, etc. and still feel the same uncertainty is clearly not healthy.
- Music. One thing I loved about Katie was we were into a lot of the same music but not everything which was great. I got to discover a lot of awesome music through her. My first girlfriend was really into top 40 pop which drove me nuts. I'm into indie rock and most things rock based which Katie was also into. It was perfect having someone who enjoyed the same style of music but introduced me to new stuff. And I LOVED sending her new music as well.
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