Monday, December 1, 2014

What I Learned


As up and down things were with Katie I did learn a lot from both her and my experience with her.

- Be more positive. She always had a positive spin on things. Not that I'm only negative but I saw we saw things differently at times. Where I would be more like "I'm excited for this show but I sure hope I perform well", she would be "Woo! This is going to be a kick ass show!.

- Do LESS. I was doing way too much in my life. I really couldn't handle all the projects I put on my plate, and then have time for a girlfriend. And it showed. I got sick so often. I figured this out before we broke up and had already cut things out of my schedule. Also I started going got the gym in my building 3 times a week. It's keeping me home, forcing me to so less and also gives me lots of energy.

- Pay attention. Nothing bugs me more than when I'm talking to someone and they are not listening. I discovered with Katie that I'm just as bad. I think it had to do with being so busy that I was so easily distracted.

- Talk more. We had a huge chat off the top of the relationship that we would communicate if anything was bothering us. We both agreed to not be afraid to voice our opinions and that talking about stuff is the best way to go. Well, that in itself was just talk. Neither of is kept that up.

- No texting. This one ties in with hand last. I'm not really saying no texting at all but I really don't think chatting every night by text message was the way to go. It made it easier for me to pay less attention to what Katie was saying. In my next relationship I'd like to set up a habit of talking on the phone every now and then than just texting all the time.

- Don't let things drag. I saw things weren't working but let it drag on instead if voicing opinion when I first noticed something going on.

- Be more sure of what I want. This has always been a struggle. I'm never sure what I want in a partner. I mean, I know things I'd enjoy in someone but as soon as someone shows interest in me I drop everything and gravitate towards them. Liking someone solely on the basis that they like you isn't enough. I tend to wrestle with if I should give someone a chance if I don't feel it right away. I think that's ok but letting it drag for 9 months, a year, etc. and still feel the same uncertainty is clearly not healthy.

 - Music. One thing I loved about Katie was we were into a lot of the same music but not everything which was great. I got to discover a lot of awesome music through her. My first girlfriend was really into top 40 pop which drove me nuts. I'm into indie rock and most things rock based which Katie was also into. It was perfect having someone who enjoyed the same style of music but introduced me to new stuff. And I LOVED sending her new music as well.

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