Surpised

Wendy called tonight.

I was surprised that she called at all. I was even more surprised when she brought up the getaway tomorrow with my friends. However, I wasn't surprised when she told me she wasn't coming.

Her reason for cancelling is that she's going to learn how to snowboard with some friends.

It didn't bother me, really, to hear that. I kind of expected it anyways and wasn't trying to keep my hopes up either. I was happy to hear her at least acknowledge it. I even told her that and she said "why wouldn't I tell you?"

Out of curiosity, I asked her if she hadn't had those plans would she have come anyways and she said probably but that she just wasn't interested in the whole getaway thing to begin with. I'm not sure what to think about that.

I must be slipping or something and hope not to make a habit of this but again at dinner Wendy came up some how and my mom asked me about the weekend thing. I told her Wendy wasn't coming. My mom made a point that at one time, she'd do certain things, that she may not have been entirely interested in, but wanted to be there because of me.

Now I don't have that kind of power anymore.

I feel like things are crumbling all over the place. However I was thinking about it and I know that if she wants to stop seeing me at all or just stay friends, she will tell me.

Since she hasn't yet, either she's still thinking things through or it's going to come out very soon.

Meanwhile I'm tempted to start moving on. Thankfully I have a lot of group activitie coming up this weekend and the next that it'll keep my mind of things.

Wendy is coming by later to borrow some goggles for tomorrow and then we're going to hang out somewhere.

I'm going to make a huge effort to stop worrying and thinking about it and just go and have some fun.