One Year Anniversary

Today would have been the 1 year anniversary with Wendy.

Wendy and I officially broke up over a month ago. It's weird in that past month sometimes I feel like nothing has changed and then other times, like right now, it feels different and bothers me.

I haven't actually seen her since we had coffee on Tuesday and the last time we spoke on the phone was on Thursday.

I don't know why, but I was kind of hoping she'd call me this weekend. Just to talk. I think I've been a bit depressed a lonely. I know it's the worst reasons to want to talk to her but it's the truth.

In any case, even if we were together still, i always got the impression she never cared for stuff like "anniversaries", or reminiscing on things we did within the relationship. I could be wrong but that's just the vibe I got from her.


I've been feeling weird since I spoke to her on Thursday. We were chatting and everything was fine. then we talked about this huge snow storm we were expecting here in My City:

Elwood: (I was practically falling asleep at this point)
Elwood: "Hey, I know the weather is bad tomorrow, but if it clears, do you want to get together?"

Wendy: (long awkward pause)
Wendy: "um I'm probably not going out at all tomorrow"

Then, almost completely asleep, I wished her a good night and passed out. I only really remembered the conversation when I woke up.

I was pretty mad at myself because it makes me sound like I'm so eager to hang out with her all the time. The shitty thing is I would be like that when we were dating. I always felt like i had to ask her a day or two in advance if she were free to do something. I always felt stupid having to do that but thats how we did things. I'm not sure if it's how she liked to do things and I adapted to it or if she figured thats how I liked to operate.

Since that call, I've been feeling pretty down about our situation. My mind keeps wandering and saying things like "That's it. This means its really over. She doesn't like you anymore.". All this just because she told me she didn't want to hang out during a snow storm...

Sometimes I wonder where my logic is,

Also, next weekend a friend of mine is having a get together at his cottage up North. I've been toying with the thought of asking Wendy to come. I'm curious to see her reaction because it pretty much implies i want to sleep with her in the same bed (although we don't have to, I'd like here there anyways even if it means I have to sleep on the floor).

I'm still not sure what to do...