Elwood's Dating Stories 3 - Prom

The image I had of prom growing up was from what I'd seen in American movies. I thought it would be fun, entertaining, magical, a real life experience. In grade eleven I discovered something important in life:

Movies aren't real!

My prom sucked ass.

Well maybe it was fun for some people but I had a horrible experience.

At he beginning of the year, one of my best friends (I was his only friend for the first 4 years of high school) decided he wanted to start hanging out with the "cool bunch" in his senior year and told me to fuck off.

Throughout the year, everyone was making plans to get limousines, suits, dress, etc. One of my other best friends, lets call him Compulsive Liar, well because thats what he was (and I didn't know this yet), promised me he could get our friends a deal on a limousine because his uncle owned a business. Believing him, i never made arrangements to get a limo. As the year progressed, I had to constantly ask him what was going on because he never confirmed that we got one and never asked me for money.

The story kept evolving. In the end, he told me it wasn't his uncle's business but his cousin's friend or some nonsense like that.

Finally after bugging him so much he just stopped talking to me. On prom night, Compulsive Liar showed up alone, in his parents car.

Meanwhile, my third and last best friend, Best Friend, had a crush on a girl from another school. Now since Other School Girl was friends with someone in our grade, he weaseled his way into their car (a Cadillac) and completely ditched me, leaving me all alone.

Aside from car troubles, I didn't have a date.

I really wanted a date and even singled out a girl who gave me a lot more attention that usual that year.

I was shy and didn't know how to ask her so I waited until the next school video dance. When it was time for a slow song I asked her for a dance. One of my friends described that dance as follows:

"You were standing arms with apart, holding her, with your mouth open and your head staring out into space!"

I was so nervous I kept looking out and very slowly asked her "Hey.... would... you... like to... go .. to... prom.................. with me.....?"

She said she would like to but unfortunately she already had a date, possibly, with an old childhood friend.

I was devastated.

A couple of days later I decided not to give up on that and approached her asking if the friend

didn't work out, if i could go with her. To which she said that if that were the case she'd go with her brother.

Prom day finally arrived. I had no limo, all my really close friends were either not talking to me or with other people and I had no date.

Yay...

I ended up going to the hotel in my dad's piece of shit minivan sitting on garbage bags, to not dirty my rented tux, with 2 guy friends who also had no dates.

On the way there we were passed by all kinds of limos and fancy cars with couples and grousp of friends. Sigh...

I got the hotel and we had dinner with our parents, followed by their departure and a crazy dance party.

The dance party was ok. I saw the girl I asked to be my date and she was there alone with no date, hanging out with her girl friends. Gee, thanks for lying!

After the party, Iwe made it upstairs to our hotel room. Everyone was drinking or smoking. I wasn't into any of that stuff back then so I wasn't having a very good time.

Finally we all decided to try and hit a bar. So I grabbed Best Friend and said "lets get the guys together and go!"

Everyone ran off for adventures.

Meanwhile, Best friend was sulking over the fact that his date, Other School Girl, had been in
the room making out with another guy. So, instead of going out with everyone, I was in the lobby watching my friend be depressed.

In the end we went out... to McDonalds.

I ended up having to call it an early night because I was starting a new job as a camp counselor and had to get up early the next morning for a meeting... on the other side of town! Luckily I had a cousin who lived nearby and slept over there.

Everyone was out having th etime of their lives and I was asleep by 12am.

No dancing.
No kissing.
No friendship memories.
No amazing breakfast the next morning.

No, I had to get picked up by my dad in his piece of shit car and go to a camp meeting.

Ah, high school memories, and yikes! This year is my 10 year anniversary!

Can't wait..... ya......

Elwood's Dating Stories 2 - High School Part 2

By grade 10 everyone in my school year was starting to get a bit older, more mature, and more attractive.
By now everyone was dating everyone else. You had a circle of friends where everyone had swapped with to someone else one way or the other.

Not I, though; not I.

I was definitely in my "I have a crush on every girl" phase (which probably lasted for many years after high school and comes back from time to time). I would try to talk and impress every girl with something to get their attention. Also, any girl that gave me attention would drive me wild and I'd think maybe, just maybe, there was some chance she could be my girlfriend.

One such person was Blondie. She was a really fun and cute girl who hung out with the "cool bunch" but also talked to my friends and I in the "not so cool" groups.

Every year, my school would send us all to a camp up north for a weekend of fun and games and learning to be nice to other people and become leaders, etc. I was put in a group with Blondie and developed a huge crush on her.

One night there was a dance and I ended up dancing beside her. I ended up revealing that i had a crush on someone but not her. She kept trying to pry out of me who it was but I was too chicken to admit it was her.

A week later back at school, our yearbooks had arrived. Naturally, everyone was writing notes in each others' books. Things like "have a great summer!" or "Gym class sucks!", etc. (remember, this was only grade 10).

Not I, though; not I.

I got a hold of Blondie's yearbook and wrote "The person I have a crush on is you!" or something like that.

I was so scared after writing that, I avoided her for a while. I think she was happy because she never approached me about it. Then I tried getting a friend of mine to talk to her about it and find out what she thought about me.

Soon enough, it became "There's Something About Blondie" because the friend I asked to help me out developed a crush on Blondie as well. Meanwhile Blondie was into my other friend, and eventually they went out.

Grade 10 wasn't all that bad. I started getting invited to the "cool bunch" parties since I was less nerdy, but alas, none of the girl in my grade wanted to date or really hang around me.

At least i had my Super Nintendo.

Elwood's Dating Stories 1 - High School Part 1

I've been thinking a lot lately and realized that the reason I'm so nervous around women may come from my childhood. I never grew up with a good interaction with the female species. I don't have any sisters or any female cousins close to my age to have hung out with growing up. I never had any female friends either. So when I hit high school, things were not like the O.C. filled with lots of dating and breaking up and all that drama.

No.

My high school experience was more like this:

In grade 7 there was this nerdy girl in my class, Michelle. Everyday before school ended, she'd come up to me and say goodbye. At first I didn't think much of it but then I noticed that she was doing it every day. Being the nerdy 13 year old I was, that got me excited. I spent all of elementary school getting picked on by everyone and now this girl with long thick hair, deep voice and giant glasses was actually noticing me and being nice!

After weeks of being nervous around her I came up with this horrible idea to write her a note saying how much I liked her. I think I wrote a whole novel. I can't remember what I wrote but I remember it being a big piece of paper double sided without skipping lines.

I was so nervous, I think I just approached her after class and threw the note all folded up at her and ran out of class. I spent the whole bus ride home cursing at myself for doing something so stupid.

Needless to say, she never spoke to me again.

Ok that's not entirely true. I stopped hanging out with her and then in grade 8 or 9 she moved to another city and I never saw her again.

In grade 8 things didn't get any better. By then I had established my group of friends - 3 guys. Meanwhile the rest of the grade (and all the girls) was pretty much labeled as "The cool group". I remember how I'd do stupid things all the time just to feel accepted by them.

At my school we'd have a dance about once every few months. It'd basically be everyone crammed into the school gym with lights and music. The odd time it was a video dance.

I remember in grade 8 I had gone to the dance and was having a really good time. At one point there was a song I liked but none of my friends were around to dance with me. I remember thinking "Hey! I'm having such a good time in high school! This is great! I don't need to have my friends dancing with me! I'm Mr. Cool. I'll just dance here all by myself."

Then this girl in my grade came up to me and smacked me across the face.

She threatened to kill me if she ever caught me dancing again.

Ah... high school memories.
Oddly enough most of what I remember is that much better...

Don't worry there's plenty more to come!