Mr. Roboto

Last weekend was my birthday. I am no longer a 26 year old virgin.I am now a 27 year old virgin!
My actual birthday was on Saturday, but I went out with people on Friday night. It was a quiet birthday. there were probably about 15 people there. They composed of old friends, fairly newer friends and soem aquintances (or friends of friends).

Nothing exciting happened in the girl department, and i was a bit down that I was all alone, where as last year, my party was pretty mucht the same but having Wendy around brought some excitment. However, I didn't think about her or wish she was there or something, for the whole night so that was a good sign.

The real action started on Saturday.

My brother Ira insisted we attend a Robot, Monster and Dolls Fetish Party. I had never gone to a fetish party but I can't say no to any reason to dress up.

Ira wanted me to make us our costumes, so 50$ and 1 week later, I had build 2 robot costumes using cardboard, spray paint, aluminum tape, jock straps and I even wore aluminum pants.

I'm not one to post pictures on here but this can't be ignored:
For my face, I simply had a piece of silver cardboard on like a headband, so you're not missing much be having my face hidden.

Ira, myself and a guy I've been hanging out lately, we'll call him Big Red, took a cab to the party. Inside there were all kind of people dressed up in all kinds of costumes.

Ira and I had matching costumes except his was gold and he wore black khakis. Our costumes were a hit. On the front I put lights that can be pushed on and off. Every single guy and girl played with them (and one chick even licked one!).

At one point in the ngiht, I was on my way tot eh bathroom when a pretty hot and drunk looking girl came up to me and started playing with the light. She was pushing them really hard, off and on. Then she looks down at her own chest and started to poke her own tits, to see if they'd turn on. I thought to myself "oh what the hell" and even joined in.

Just as I was getting all excited and thinking that maybe I'll finally have a chance to pick someone up at a party (a crazy fetish party to eb exact), she turns up and looks me straight int he eyes and says "Do you have any speed?". I simple said no and moved on. I'm not into drugs or chicks who do 'em.

Ira and I ended up claiming 2nd place in the costume contest. We won a gift certificate to a fetish shop, a ticket each to the next party, and a dildo. We never saw the dildo (or the tickets) but we got our info taken down to get contacted about it. Later in the night, we were told we could exchange the dildo for something else.

After the party, we went to the After Party which kind of sucked.

I crawled into bed at 6am. What a night!

The follow up

Thank you all for your advice!

I genuinely took in altijdprijs and Leigh's advice but in the end, I decided to lean more towards JRM's approach (which was very similar to what my good friend Spider Dude told me the other day) and I e-mailed Wendy this short message:


Hey,
I saw the invite and understood it as genuine, but I thought about it a lot and don;t think it is a good idea if i attend. It feels too soon and I'm not ready yet.

Have a happy birthday.

Elwood

I almost didn't write anything because at first I didn't know what to write and then I got busy this weekend and was away from home.

I then decided to keep it short, stressing the point that I want space and sounded pleasant enough all at once.

Perhaps had it been 6 months since I last spoke to her i would have considered it but it has only been like 2 weeks.

I'll never know what she's thinking but to me it seems like she wants to ensure i"m not mad at her. I don't blame her. I'm the kind of person who hates to know if someone has bad feelings towards me. On the other hand, I"m not sure why she would think that I did.

I find it funny how we have second thoughts on things that we know never work out. Like say she decided maybe she really does miss me and wants me there, what would that do? Not much. Things didn't work out when we were together or when we tried getting back together so why the need for me to be around?

Soon enough we'll get over each other and then laugh to ourselves about how silly all this drama is.

Freakiness followed by dilemma-ness

I found it extremely freaky how on many occasions it felt like Wendy could read my mind. I'd be able to make a corny joke and she'd beat me to it. I'd have a plan on what I wanted to do and she'd agree with me before I'd even mention what I wanted to do next.

Once I heard a song and told her I couldn't remember the name of the group. Twenty minutes later, as we're walking, I was staring into space, not saying a word and she turns to me and says "Stop trying to remember the name of the group!".

Now, in an extremely supernatural way, she's done it again without even knowing it.

Just yesterday I was commenting on how I received an open invite by her via Facebook for her birthday.

I pegged it down to her knowing I would come under better circumstances and inviting me anyways to le me know I'm welcomed to come even though I most likely will not.

Turns out I was right.

She sent me an e-mail this evening basically making it clear that didn't invite me to be polite, but that she genuinely would like it for me to come. She assured that she meant it when she said she hopes we can remain friends, that I was a huge part of her life in the past year and that it's also okay if I choose not to come.

Like I said, freaky!

Maybe she reads this blog? Or she hacks into my computer? Or she can really read my mind!

In any case, I still have decided not to go. If I show up, no matter what, we'll just screw each other up badly. Ex's + Parties + Alcohol = Bad News (and sometimes babies).

I think she'll have a better birthday without me being there.

Now my dilemma is:
1. Do I reply to her e-mail to let her know I agree with her but still will not be coming or
2. Just ignore it to not break the silence

I'm veering more towards 1 because it sounds more like the right thing to do. That was she knows i still care for her but just need time and not come across as a jerk. However, I'm afraid if I do that then she may think I"m ready to "be friends" all of a sudden, which I'm not. I think I need to meet a few new people before I start hanging out with Wendy again.

What do you guys think?
Come on now, don't all shout at once!