Elwood's Dating Stories 5 - Hockey Night

Cuddly Bear told me she can't go with me to the hockey game. She had plans already and even though she sounded all excited to go to her first hockey game (and hopefully because I was going too), she said she hadn't seen her friends in a long time and couldn't cancel on them.

As much as I would have liked to go with her, I decided to go with a friend instead. My friend got SUPER excited and she's a huge hockey fan. I think I'll have more fun with her instead because she's all gung ho about dressing up in our hockey team logo, going toa bar before hand and having a good time.

Speaking of hockey, this brings me to another dating blunder I had in my early University days:

I was in my first year at University and I went out one night, in the suburbs were I lived, with some old high school buddies. At the bar, I wasn't having the most fun until I bumped into this guy I knew from college and he introduced me to his friends.

I somehow ended up chatting up a girl amongst the group. I'll call her Pager because I remember having to call her pager all the time to reach her. Anyways, we started chatting for a while and for the first and only time in my life she gave me her number without me evenhaving to ask.

She was a bit older than I and smoked but I still went on a date with her for coffee and it went well.

We had arranged to meet up again later that week at a McDonalds.

Now, keep in mind, I really didnt' have my priorities straight when you read the next paragraph. Back then I was a nerdy kid. I hadn't reached my party phase yet, I rarely drank or got drunk and I lived at home with my parents and studied a lot.

So she shows up late and all excited because she had won two tickets to that nights hockey game and was excited we would go. Being the idiot I was, I totally didn't like hockey back then and didn't even want to concider watching the game even if it meant being with a girl, so I told her thanks but I didnt' like hockey and didnt' want to go and had to study anyways.

She had to scramble quick and made a few calls to find someone to go with and then went off to the game and I never saw her again.

Don't worry, if a girl invites me to a hockey game now, I'm there!

Elwood's Dating Stories 4 - University: Psycho Girl Part 3

To conclude my story about Psycho girl. This is chock full of stupid drama.

So we spent months hanging out as friends but things just got really weird.

On one occasion I ended up at a movie with Psycho Girl and Creepy Guy. Creepy Guy was part of a club I hung out with at University and we were all having lunch. Psycho Girl had come out that day on my behalf. After lunch I invited everyone to go see Big Fish. Everyone bailed except Psycho Girl and Creepy Guy.

I"m not sure if Pyscho Girl was doing it to get rid of Creepy Guy, but by the end of the night she was giving me a lot of attention.

I was tempted to kiss her but had too many thoughts running in my head (does she want me to? She's just a friend! She hurt me already... etc.).

Another time we went skating with a bunch of my friends. I was hoping to hang out with her after the skating part and she wanted to as well. Then, al of a sudden she tells my friends goodbye and leaves!

I was pretty disappointed and left the other way to go home. Fifteen minutes later I get a call from her asking why I didn't follow her.

Very strange.

She went away on vacation for a week to Europe with her roomate and upon returning she said she missed me.

Later in the year, she missed me just being away for Valentines Day weekend.

It started to drive me crazy.

Finally one night I couldn't help it and told her I wanted to kiss her again.

Then I juped the gun and wanted to go home with her. Most people would thing I wanted sex. I absolutely was NOT thinking about sex. I just really want hold her and cuddle with someone in my sleep (I had not yet done this with anyone).

She wasn't too keen for me coming over, saying her roommate would not be happy.

The next time I saw her she was disappointed to find out that after i had left to go home that night, she found out her roommate never came home.

So at this point i had thought we were kind of dating again. The only problem was I was to shy to do anything.

We went on dates but I never kissed her.

One time we were alone in her apartment and the topic of sex came up (just general conversation, not about us having sex) and I was joking around a lot.

At one point i said "Well we better go" referring to our evening of playing pool, but as a joke, I pointed to her bedroom.

Then I got up with the intention of really going to play pool and she gave me this confused look and said "oh... ok then..." and when I asked what was wrong she said "It's nothing... must be my hormones..."

You don't know how many friends yelled at me after I told them that story. They all think she wanted sex badly.

I don't know what it is with me and sex (still a virgin, even after having dated someone for 10 months) but that's for another post on another day.

Things really got fucked up when we had planned to spend an all nighter having fun outside in the city. I was excited and thought I'd end up at her place at the end of the night.

Before the nigt even began she started to tell me how tired she was and was probably going to call it an early night. My heart was crushed.

Then later on in the evening I bumped into a friend completely by accident and she had thought i planned to meet him because I didn't want o spend time with her.

In the end she turned to me and said "I'm sorry" and left me to go home.

Next time I saw her she was all happy to hang out with me. I was pretty happy too. We went for coffee and thats when she tells me she started dating that guy from her high school who she e-mailed earlier that year.

I was devastated.

I felt used. Hurt. Sad.

Worst of all I had to endure that for months because i worked with her and she still wanted to be my friend.

I almost lost all my friends complaining about her and my situation for almost a full year.

I finally got out of it by graduating from University and moving overseas for a year.

I kept it a secret from her as much as a could and right before I left she e-mailed me this whole long story how she wanted to remain my friend.

I simply replied that I could write a whole e-mail about how much I hated her but instead decided to wish her a good life and that this was goodbye.

About 1 month later, in Australia, I found out she got engaged.

Boy was I glad I wasn't there for that.

EPILOGUE

I never saw her again until one day last winter after having moved back to My City, I was walking on a cold winter day all bundled up with my headphones in my ears. I look up and see her waving at someone.

I was shocked!

She didn't notice me. I kept walking and was thinking: "Oh my god! What should I do? Should I talk to her? Should i keep walking? Will she remember me? What would i say?"

Then when I broke out of my thoughts I looked up again only to realize I had walked 8 blocks from where I had seen her.

So i just kept walking.

Elwood's Dating Stories 4- University: Psycho girl Part 2

So to continue where I left off, Psycho Girl had admitted that she had a crush on me.

I should have seen the bad signs right off the bat. I only realized later that week that when she told me she liked me, she kept taking big sips of her beer, like she was trying to get drunk so it all made sense. It went like this:

"I" *sip* "Really" *sip* "Have a"*sip* "Crush on you!" *SIP!*

After downing our beers, we headed to a local park dubbed Crack Park (for the obvious reasons).

We sat down on a bench and talked a bit more.

I remember looking at the fountain in the middle of the park and seeing a weird looking couple getting their wedding picture taken.... at 11:30pm... by 1 guy.... with no one else around...

Anyways, Psycho Girl kept looking at me. Then she offered me some gum. Then looked some more. Finally she asked me if I would kiss her, and I did.

(Funny enough, I owe it to Psycho Girl because on my third date with Wendy, she had asked me if I wanted gum and this time I knew it was code for "do you want to kiss me", so Wendy didn't need to ask me).

For the res of October, I kept getting huge mixed signals from Psycho girl. We never kissed again since that night, only hung out as friends. I was too shy to try anything and I guess she didn't seem to mind.

That all changed on Halloween.

The plan was to hang out and get drunk. Boy did we ever!

I spent the night with Pyscho Girl, my buddy Football Guy and his girlfriend at the time.

We went to a University party where you paid a price to enter the building and throughout there were stations for shots. We were pretty sloshed on the way out.

We were all supposed to head to a club but Football Guy and his girlfriend were arguing or something. I'm not really sure what was going on because Psycho Girl kept making out with me in the street.

I probably should have left, but I really wanted to hang out with my buddy (I know, I didn't have my priorities straight back then).

Finally, Psycho Girl admitted she didn't feel well and that we had to go back to her place, which thankfully was near by.

On the way there, I heard her slur to me "I just want to hang out with you until I find someone else".

She told me that straight up to my face, and in such a passive manner like it was nothing.

It ruined the night for me.

Before I could even react to that, I found myself in her bathroom, being yelled at her to take off her dress so she could puke in the toilet. (Also, strangely enough, two months ago I almost found myself helping Wendy puke in a toilet at a hotel, but she yelled at me not to come into the bathroom, and in the end she never puked).

I helped Pyscho Girl into her bed. She asked me to join her but I was still all fucked up from what she told me earlier, and although I was drunk, something inside told me to get the fuck out of there, so I did.

I ended up at a friend's party instead of the club. At the party I had a really drunk conversation with two of my equally drunk friends:

Friends 1 and 2: "You left her all alone in her place?"
Elwood: "Yeah..."
Friends 1 and 2: "How'd you leave her?"
Elwood: I left her to sleep on her back"
Friends 1 and 2: "ON her BACK?! She could choke on vomit! You need to go back there!"
Elwood: Are you sure that's necessary?"
Friends 1 and 2: "Yes! Lets go!"
Elwood" Lets go? I don't even remember where she lives! I ran out of there as fast as a could!"
Friends 1 and 2: "Do you have her number? At least call her!"

We finally all calmed down and I called her. Not only was she fine, by calling her I had woken her up.

The next day, she had called me.

It was awkward on the phone. I just cut her off and said I thought we should just remain friends.

She agreed.

That was when I should have just gotten over her and moved on, but I didn't...

Instead, we still hung out. I used to drop by her job at the school supply shop between classes, had lunch with her , and talked to her on the phone.

Sometime time during that semester, she had admitted to me that she had e-mailed her High School Crush and asked him if he was available. He had told her that he just broke up with his girlfriend and wasn't ready to start dating again.

Lucky for he she had me around to mess with my head...

(Stay tuned for part 3. Yes this is a long fucking story. )

Elwood's Dating Stories 4 - University: Psycho Girl Part 1

In 2000 I started University. I was entering the college life without ever having kissed someone, been in a relationship or had sex. I also didn't go out much or drink.

Within the first year I befriended a group of good guys and we'd go out almost every weekend and hit up some bars. I eventually started going out more and more and even got involved with a committee that organized parties for my faculty.

It's through that that I had my first kiss.

Although I can't remember if it happened before or after that kiss, I do recall hanging out with some friends outside on campus when all of a sudden a bunch of people in a FROSH group came barreling towards us and all at once said excitedly that they were in a scavenger hunt and needed a picture of someone kissing a stranger.

Next thing I know it, some chick kissed me and ran off.

My friends all laughed and said I got kiss-raped.

So for the first couple of years at University I pretty much avoided any drama with girls. In my third year however things changed.

Thats when I met psycho girl.

I have mentioned her here and there throughout my blog already but I figure nows as a good a time as ever to give the whole story. I was so obsessed with it that I told everyone this story for up to year after it ended.

Basically I worked all summer in a lab at my University. During that time I met Psycho girl. She worked in the basement of the building.

She quickly joined my group of fellow co-workers who would hang out at lunch and sometimes go out after work.

I had a crush on her pretty quickly. She was tall, average weight and had long blond hair. I thought she was so hot.

We started to hand out a lot. I would go visit her at her lab and she'd be happy to see me.

About a month after meeting her, she had ended a 3 year relationship with this guy she lived with. She had told me that the day he asked her out, he came to class with some roses, then they dated for 3 years.

I didn't piece together in my head that she just finished a three year relationship and only thought "she's single and ready for the taking!".

had devised a plan to buy her a rose but because I didn't want her to think I was looking for something serious, I thought at the time if I bought her a fake rose that would make things better. And to make things even weirder, I thought it'd be a good idea to give it to her on my birthday.

I ended up getting really drunk and hitting on her quite strongly. She didn't like it so much and eventually she left. I never had a chance to give her the rose because I was way too shy.

About a week later I cornered her at her lab and gave her the rose. She laughed it off and thought it was a joke to which I played the "yes, that's it! It's a joke! Ha ha ha..... I going to go now..." card.

She soon caught on and told me she wasn't interested.

Fair enough. I was being so selfish and not thinking what she was going through. So I made it clear to myself to only be friends with her.

Things were good. We hung out a lot and flirted a bit but it was fun because we were just friends.
Then things got weird when a mutual friend got obsessed with Psycho Girl. He wouldn't leave her alone and looking back now, she totally used me to get him off her back.

On her birthday, she held my hand in front of him to make him jealous and it worked. The only shitty thing was I was crashing at his place and I didn't want to be stranded on the street. Luckily I calmed him down and reassured him I was just friends with Psycho Girl (which was the truth).

My favorite moment with Psycho Girl that summer was when we sat on the grass outside in a park right next to the spot where a Radiohead concert was playing. She didn't know their music, but we chatted and I got to talk to her about the music and the band.

Our friendship continued into the fall semester at University. I'd call her sometimes and invite her to my friends' parties. We'd bump into each other at school and hang out at lunch with our mutual friends. It was a lot of fun.

Finally one fall evening, I had an awful day at school. I accidentally erased my lab report and had to rewrite the whole thing. I had called her to see if she wanted to go for a beer that I so needed. She said yes and we ended up at my favorite bar.

We had a couple of beers and talked. Then she had admitted after knowing her 5 months that she had a crush on me. That she thought I was cute and that she had wanted to kiss me way back at the Radiohead concert.

Deep down inside I was thrilled! I couldn't believe I was hearing this gorgeous girl who I thought was out of my league tell me she actually liked me!

Then she said "I don't want a relationship. I just want a fling".

I actually convinced myself I could handle that.

I would soon find out that I definitely could not handle that...

(to be continued)

Elwood's Dating Stories 3 - Prom

The image I had of prom growing up was from what I'd seen in American movies. I thought it would be fun, entertaining, magical, a real life experience. In grade eleven I discovered something important in life:

Movies aren't real!

My prom sucked ass.

Well maybe it was fun for some people but I had a horrible experience.

At he beginning of the year, one of my best friends (I was his only friend for the first 4 years of high school) decided he wanted to start hanging out with the "cool bunch" in his senior year and told me to fuck off.

Throughout the year, everyone was making plans to get limousines, suits, dress, etc. One of my other best friends, lets call him Compulsive Liar, well because thats what he was (and I didn't know this yet), promised me he could get our friends a deal on a limousine because his uncle owned a business. Believing him, i never made arrangements to get a limo. As the year progressed, I had to constantly ask him what was going on because he never confirmed that we got one and never asked me for money.

The story kept evolving. In the end, he told me it wasn't his uncle's business but his cousin's friend or some nonsense like that.

Finally after bugging him so much he just stopped talking to me. On prom night, Compulsive Liar showed up alone, in his parents car.

Meanwhile, my third and last best friend, Best Friend, had a crush on a girl from another school. Now since Other School Girl was friends with someone in our grade, he weaseled his way into their car (a Cadillac) and completely ditched me, leaving me all alone.

Aside from car troubles, I didn't have a date.

I really wanted a date and even singled out a girl who gave me a lot more attention that usual that year.

I was shy and didn't know how to ask her so I waited until the next school video dance. When it was time for a slow song I asked her for a dance. One of my friends described that dance as follows:

"You were standing arms with apart, holding her, with your mouth open and your head staring out into space!"

I was so nervous I kept looking out and very slowly asked her "Hey.... would... you... like to... go .. to... prom.................. with me.....?"

She said she would like to but unfortunately she already had a date, possibly, with an old childhood friend.

I was devastated.

A couple of days later I decided not to give up on that and approached her asking if the friend

didn't work out, if i could go with her. To which she said that if that were the case she'd go with her brother.

Prom day finally arrived. I had no limo, all my really close friends were either not talking to me or with other people and I had no date.

Yay...

I ended up going to the hotel in my dad's piece of shit minivan sitting on garbage bags, to not dirty my rented tux, with 2 guy friends who also had no dates.

On the way there we were passed by all kinds of limos and fancy cars with couples and grousp of friends. Sigh...

I got the hotel and we had dinner with our parents, followed by their departure and a crazy dance party.

The dance party was ok. I saw the girl I asked to be my date and she was there alone with no date, hanging out with her girl friends. Gee, thanks for lying!

After the party, Iwe made it upstairs to our hotel room. Everyone was drinking or smoking. I wasn't into any of that stuff back then so I wasn't having a very good time.

Finally we all decided to try and hit a bar. So I grabbed Best Friend and said "lets get the guys together and go!"

Everyone ran off for adventures.

Meanwhile, Best friend was sulking over the fact that his date, Other School Girl, had been in
the room making out with another guy. So, instead of going out with everyone, I was in the lobby watching my friend be depressed.

In the end we went out... to McDonalds.

I ended up having to call it an early night because I was starting a new job as a camp counselor and had to get up early the next morning for a meeting... on the other side of town! Luckily I had a cousin who lived nearby and slept over there.

Everyone was out having th etime of their lives and I was asleep by 12am.

No dancing.
No kissing.
No friendship memories.
No amazing breakfast the next morning.

No, I had to get picked up by my dad in his piece of shit car and go to a camp meeting.

Ah, high school memories, and yikes! This year is my 10 year anniversary!

Can't wait..... ya......

Elwood's Dating Stories 2 - High School Part 2

By grade 10 everyone in my school year was starting to get a bit older, more mature, and more attractive.
By now everyone was dating everyone else. You had a circle of friends where everyone had swapped with to someone else one way or the other.

Not I, though; not I.

I was definitely in my "I have a crush on every girl" phase (which probably lasted for many years after high school and comes back from time to time). I would try to talk and impress every girl with something to get their attention. Also, any girl that gave me attention would drive me wild and I'd think maybe, just maybe, there was some chance she could be my girlfriend.

One such person was Blondie. She was a really fun and cute girl who hung out with the "cool bunch" but also talked to my friends and I in the "not so cool" groups.

Every year, my school would send us all to a camp up north for a weekend of fun and games and learning to be nice to other people and become leaders, etc. I was put in a group with Blondie and developed a huge crush on her.

One night there was a dance and I ended up dancing beside her. I ended up revealing that i had a crush on someone but not her. She kept trying to pry out of me who it was but I was too chicken to admit it was her.

A week later back at school, our yearbooks had arrived. Naturally, everyone was writing notes in each others' books. Things like "have a great summer!" or "Gym class sucks!", etc. (remember, this was only grade 10).

Not I, though; not I.

I got a hold of Blondie's yearbook and wrote "The person I have a crush on is you!" or something like that.

I was so scared after writing that, I avoided her for a while. I think she was happy because she never approached me about it. Then I tried getting a friend of mine to talk to her about it and find out what she thought about me.

Soon enough, it became "There's Something About Blondie" because the friend I asked to help me out developed a crush on Blondie as well. Meanwhile Blondie was into my other friend, and eventually they went out.

Grade 10 wasn't all that bad. I started getting invited to the "cool bunch" parties since I was less nerdy, but alas, none of the girl in my grade wanted to date or really hang around me.

At least i had my Super Nintendo.

Elwood's Dating Stories 1 - High School Part 1

I've been thinking a lot lately and realized that the reason I'm so nervous around women may come from my childhood. I never grew up with a good interaction with the female species. I don't have any sisters or any female cousins close to my age to have hung out with growing up. I never had any female friends either. So when I hit high school, things were not like the O.C. filled with lots of dating and breaking up and all that drama.

No.

My high school experience was more like this:

In grade 7 there was this nerdy girl in my class, Michelle. Everyday before school ended, she'd come up to me and say goodbye. At first I didn't think much of it but then I noticed that she was doing it every day. Being the nerdy 13 year old I was, that got me excited. I spent all of elementary school getting picked on by everyone and now this girl with long thick hair, deep voice and giant glasses was actually noticing me and being nice!

After weeks of being nervous around her I came up with this horrible idea to write her a note saying how much I liked her. I think I wrote a whole novel. I can't remember what I wrote but I remember it being a big piece of paper double sided without skipping lines.

I was so nervous, I think I just approached her after class and threw the note all folded up at her and ran out of class. I spent the whole bus ride home cursing at myself for doing something so stupid.

Needless to say, she never spoke to me again.

Ok that's not entirely true. I stopped hanging out with her and then in grade 8 or 9 she moved to another city and I never saw her again.

In grade 8 things didn't get any better. By then I had established my group of friends - 3 guys. Meanwhile the rest of the grade (and all the girls) was pretty much labeled as "The cool group". I remember how I'd do stupid things all the time just to feel accepted by them.

At my school we'd have a dance about once every few months. It'd basically be everyone crammed into the school gym with lights and music. The odd time it was a video dance.

I remember in grade 8 I had gone to the dance and was having a really good time. At one point there was a song I liked but none of my friends were around to dance with me. I remember thinking "Hey! I'm having such a good time in high school! This is great! I don't need to have my friends dancing with me! I'm Mr. Cool. I'll just dance here all by myself."

Then this girl in my grade came up to me and smacked me across the face.

She threatened to kill me if she ever caught me dancing again.

Ah... high school memories.
Oddly enough most of what I remember is that much better...

Don't worry there's plenty more to come!

Elwoods Dating Stories 1 - First Kiss

Unlike most people, I only had my first kiss when I was 23.

I was so shy being around girls growing up that I never even kissed someone as a joke (ex: truth or dare).

I don't know why I was shy around girls I just was. Maybe it was my lack of female interaction. I don't have any sisters, or cousins close to my age whom I hung out with. I only started making real female friends in University. I think a big reason for that was I was one of those "I have a crush on every girl" kind of guys (I think I still am...). That probably turned off a lot of girls from talking to me. I hear that have radar that can tell when I guy likes them and then it''s all "shields up!".

Things changed a bit in University. I became super outgoing. I met tons of people, males and females. Although I wasn't close to even less than half of them, there was a time when I could walk down the hallway and know about 100 people.

The reason for that? I was really big in participating with Frosh (freshman week parties).

It all started my freshman year in 2000.

I payed 50$ to meet and party with about a 1000 people (new and old students) of 3 days.
I had such a good time I was sucked in.

I moved up the ranks:
The following year I was a Frosh Leader, taking care of all the freshman and making sure they were having a blast. I did such a good job and made so many friends in the faculty of Science, I was asked to organize Frosh for 2002.


Organizing Frosh was so much fun but so intense that I decided to demote myself to Super Volunteer. That meant I could do everything for free like an Organizer, but less responsibility.

So the summer of 2003 is when I had my first kiss

I met Pekoe (her nickname will make sense later) at a friend's bbq. She seemed pretty cute and I could see a guy or two trying to chat her up. Eventually I talked to her but wasn't trying anything.

A couple of weeks later, when Frosh started, I had bumped into her a bunch of times. She was a Frosh Leader, and i being a Super Volunteer, our paths crossed a lot during the day (the main difference being she was able to get trashed and party, while i had to set up and clean up the areas we used to party).

Frosh is typically 3 days, and at the 3 nights there is a party at a club or bar.

On the second night, I left early to go catch a Bjork Concert (it was really good but I was so exhausted from the partying, that I fell asleep at the show...). After the show, my energy got a second whim and I wen to the bar where the party was being held.

Weirdly enough, at the bar, I bumped into a cousin of mine who was visiting for Out of Town. I didn't even know he was in My City. He was looking to meet girls and i introduced him to some friends but we ended up hanging out with Pekoe and her friends most the night.

At the end of the night my cousin brought us back to his hotel room. I could tell her really wanted to get it on with Pekoe but she wanted nothing to do with him and I ended up being a gentleman and walked her home.

On the last night of Frosh, things got very interesting. I live far from the downtown area and needed a place to crash. Someone I knew said she wasn't going back to her apartment after the party and said I could have her bed.

Turns out she was Pekoe's roommate!

At the club, I had a fucking blast! Dancing around, grinding with girls (most of them friends) and just drinking the night away. I kept dancing with Pekoe as well.

We took a break and she even told me she thought I was cute.

All night I probably had a chance to make out with her but remember, I'm shy! SO nothing happened.

Finally, at the end of the night I walked her home. We held hands! I was super excited. (this was the first time I ever got affection from someone else, little did I know that alcohol does that to people).

Inside her apartment we talked for a while and I could tell she wanted to kiss me but I was so shy.

Finally I pulled the most unromantic cheap shot. I told her I've never been kissed.

She laughed. Then asked if I wanted my first kiss. I said OK.

Such a high school moment but hey, I never had that experience in high school.

We kissed.

It felt weird to me. So weird that I blurted out: "Wow! That tasted like Jelly Fish!". As you can tell, I had a lot to drink.

Following that embarrassing moment by saying something like "you're hair looks like Orange Pekoe!". Her hair was this dirty orange/red which I quite liked. Her reaction to that was "Orange Pekoe? Thats' not a color! Thats a tea flavor!.

We kissed some more and then she changed into something "more comfortable".

Had I not been so shy, this story would also be named "First Time I Had Sex", but instead of trying anything, I went in her bed and slept.

This may explain why she never called me back...