No more excuses

One more week until I move out, hence the lack of posts. Also, once I move, I won't have a computer at first (thinking of giving this one to my parents and buying a new one) so it will be difficult to update regularly but I'll try to squeeze some in at work before I start my day.

Aside from that, right now I'm pretty tired and feeling kind of down. The weather outside sucks.
It's been super nice for more than a week and now it's raining like mad outside and it's cold and dreary.

On top of that I think my blooming friendship with Victoria has been cut short.

I was supposed to do something with her tonight and we played that phone tag thing again. I was the one who initiated that we hang out. However, she was supposed to go out and eat with a friend and I was with my parents having dinner in a restaurant. I was supposed to call her when I was done eating.

When I finished dinner I was exhausted. I decided I didn't feel like running back downtown to hang out with her. I called her up and she told me she hadn't even heard from her friend yet. So, in my head i thought she would cancel with me and all would be good since I didn't want to go out anymore. Instead, she didn't say anything so I stepped up and just said I was near my house and was going to go home. She sounded very annoyed and said something like "oh, ok then. Talk to you later". I told her i was sorry and that soon we'd get to do something because I'll be downtown. She didn't seem to care. I don't blame her since I've been saying that every time I canceled and according to her I canceled 5 times in a row. I could tell she just wanted to get off the phone with me and probably thinks I'm a jerk or something.

It's funny because:
-I'm not usually like this
-She barely knows me and now sees me as being this way
-Each time some thing just happened to come up that would make me cancel
-I know that if this kept happening to me I'd stop talking to the person also

So I feel bad.

I feel that all people are different (duh) and I know how I am. I have some attributes I could live without, one of them is caring how people think about me. I know most people could give a shit about what others think. I try to have that attitude but I've come to terms that deep down inside I like to please others and I hate it when I know others don't look at me in a positive way. Hence why I feel bad about how things ended up with Victoria. I could call her back and try to fix things but I have a feeling that will just make things worse. I guess it's best to let her before a week or two. Actually, I just realized that she's moving in 3 days and I'm not sure if her phone number will work anymore. Maybe it's best I just forget about her.

I hate to admit it but I have a feeling that deep down inside I was enjoying her phone calls because it was a nice step since not having Wendy call me anymore.

Speaking of which, I have a whole other post to go with that.