So I've been checking out a couple of internet dating sites this past week.
I'm starting to get the feeling my little goal of meeting 10 people is a lot harder than I thought.
Initially I figured I'd e-mail/message a bunch of people online, go on a date with a whole bunch of people and after a bunch (i.e. 10) different people, I'd really have an idea of whats out there and what I want.
In theory that sounds easy but it'll only work if someone writes back to me!
I have no idea if it's my profile, my pictures or what I'm writing to these people but on one site, out of 15 people I contacted, no one wrote back.
A couple of women didn't even open the message (on this particular site it says if the message has been read, unread, read deleted and unread deleted).
One person I messaged, even though her criteria interested me, I only messaged her because I saw she lived where I want to move to and all I asked in the message was how it is to live in the area and if she has any advice.
She didn't even open it! She just deleted it, most likely based on my pictures.
I don't see whats so wrong about them, maybe their just a bit too goofy?
Currently my pictures are:
1. A close up of my head and shoulders at 3/4 view so you can see I have a goatee
2. A picture of me standing in a t-shirt holding something (you can see I"m skinny)
3. A picture of my with a goofy smile and 6 drinks in front of me
4. A picture of my holding my shirt open, revealing that I"m Spiderman (my friend made me wear that to the Spiderman 3 premiere)
5. A picture of me wearing a shirt dressed as a tree (I thought it was cute)
6. A picture of me drunk playing air guitar with a co worker
I don't have anything better and I figured some fun pictures would show my fun side. If the people I message would at least contact me they'd find out I'm not a bad guy.
I think that online dating is 99% on looks and I laugh when I message someone I don't even find that pretty but say to myself "I shouldn't single out people because of a photo" and then they dont' get back to me.
Maybe I"m going about this all wrong... I might take a break for a few days to calm down.
6 comments:
I don't think it's so much Woman=Shallow but People=Shallow. I've always been nervous about trying on-line dating. People make too many snap judgements. It's unfortunate.
I think your written profile was good and your pictures sound fine to me. It's totally the type of ad I would respond to...if I were on any dating sites.
But who cares if it takes a bit longer than expected? It's better to weed out the shallow people than to waste any more time on them!
Liz, you are completely right.
I'm by no means online dying to find someone. I was just under the impression it was easy to make first contact with someone online. I'm in no rush whatsoever.
Actually, this evening, someone initiated a message with me. So it goes to show some people don't just judge photos.
There's an episode of the pickup podcast that is all about online dating sites and getting the responses you want. I remember it being quite good.
http://www.pickuppodcast.com
episode #33
I'm in the same boat as you. Trying to put myself out there and date around, but it is more difficult than it seems. Keep all the pics, they're who you are and you shouldn't hide any of that. I'm sure you'll get a few more bites soon!
also, I've gotta say.. I find the title of this post a little offensive...
El, I think that you need to keep in mind that most women online are in high demand, so they get a lot of responses. Chances are that they've gotten 20+ replies and are as frustrated as you.
I'm not an online dater... and I'm not even in your age bracket... but if you want to email me the photos, I'll give you my honest opinion. *shrug*
That said, keeping replying and something will turn up.
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