I'm about halfway through How to Succeed with Women by Ron Louis and David Copeland.
Originally I wanted to write blog after blog about each bit of information I was learning from the book. Unfortunately, I've been reading it so fast and working so much overtime that i just havn't had a chance to do that.
The main things discussed have been confidence, advice on dress and looking good, myths guys seem to have on dating and also who to be romantic with women.
One thing that I will admit that has stuck with me was a part that mentions how you shouldn't let women validate your life. Life shouldn't feel crappy when your single and great when you're with someone. Life should always feel great for all kinds of reasons and things you got going on. Then, once you feel great abut life, if a women were to come in the picture it's only an extra thing added to your already super duper awesome life.
Reading that made me realize I was (am) a bit like that. I would feel great if I had a good interaction with a girl and awful if it didn't' go my way and think about it for days.
Although I do wish I had a more enjoyable job, I'm enjoying my life. I live on my own in an amazing area. I have a job and at least make some money. I'm super active in improv and actually get paid to make people laugh and feel good. I've been out and about meeting all kinds of new people.
When I had my date last week with Rock Chick, I was curious to see what the book had to say on dates and first kisses but flipping through the book, I discovered they only touch that stuff 5 chapters later.
I'm kind of glad I didn't read anything on the subject at the time, it allowed me to do what i"m best at: make stuff up.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The hesitation sensation
I just got back from my second date with Rock Chick. All in all it was a lot of fun.
The night started when we met at the bar where my friend was hosting this artsy party. There was an arts and crafts table, a 30 minute poetic slide show project and even an interpretive dancer (which was quite weird).
We chatted a lot and I made sure to give lots of eye contact. Something I never paid much attention to before. Besides she has really nice eyes.
we couldn't stay long at the bar party because I had to make the show that I was in the same night, at the other end of downtown. We grabbed a bus and the subway and made it to the comedy club.
The doorman let Rock Chick in for free to watch me perform. Even though I was late, I was allowed to open (introduce) the troupe.
The show went really well and Rock Chick told me she really enjoyed it.
Following the show we went for a midnight meal.
Our date lasted 4 hours!
At the end of the night I was walking with her a bit, towards her side of town, even though it was in the complete opposite direction to where I lived.
I wasn't nervous the whole night and was kind of excited to be on another date but the only think I was hoping to get out of it, my short term goal you can say, was a simple kiss.
We stopped at a street corner and both told each other how much fun we had.
We stared in each others eyes for a split second...
and I hesitated.
Then we talked a bit more, and I still hesitated.
Finally I got real close to her, she didn't flinch or turn back. I I smacked her hand a high five but still kind of kept holding it, and finally went in for the kiss.
That's when my lips hit dead on with her cheek.
I quickly changed plans and went with it and then kissed her other cheek. I couldn't believe how smooth I was. I didn't flinch, or whine or complain.
I can't tell if she just thought that was what I was going for or if she wasn't ready or just wasn't interested, but I doubt she'd want to spend all that time together if it was just a way to make a new friend.
She's going to Mexico for a week but we'll be in touch when she comes back.
Yes, I admit that I am thinking of the events that happened tonight, but compared to my old attitude I'd have left feeling 95% depressed or let down.
While she's away it gives me the best opportunity to contact other girls and see where they may lead.
The night started when we met at the bar where my friend was hosting this artsy party. There was an arts and crafts table, a 30 minute poetic slide show project and even an interpretive dancer (which was quite weird).
We chatted a lot and I made sure to give lots of eye contact. Something I never paid much attention to before. Besides she has really nice eyes.
we couldn't stay long at the bar party because I had to make the show that I was in the same night, at the other end of downtown. We grabbed a bus and the subway and made it to the comedy club.
The doorman let Rock Chick in for free to watch me perform. Even though I was late, I was allowed to open (introduce) the troupe.
The show went really well and Rock Chick told me she really enjoyed it.
Following the show we went for a midnight meal.
Our date lasted 4 hours!
At the end of the night I was walking with her a bit, towards her side of town, even though it was in the complete opposite direction to where I lived.
I wasn't nervous the whole night and was kind of excited to be on another date but the only think I was hoping to get out of it, my short term goal you can say, was a simple kiss.
We stopped at a street corner and both told each other how much fun we had.
We stared in each others eyes for a split second...
and I hesitated.
Then we talked a bit more, and I still hesitated.
Finally I got real close to her, she didn't flinch or turn back. I I smacked her hand a high five but still kind of kept holding it, and finally went in for the kiss.
That's when my lips hit dead on with her cheek.
I quickly changed plans and went with it and then kissed her other cheek. I couldn't believe how smooth I was. I didn't flinch, or whine or complain.
I can't tell if she just thought that was what I was going for or if she wasn't ready or just wasn't interested, but I doubt she'd want to spend all that time together if it was just a way to make a new friend.
She's going to Mexico for a week but we'll be in touch when she comes back.
Yes, I admit that I am thinking of the events that happened tonight, but compared to my old attitude I'd have left feeling 95% depressed or let down.
While she's away it gives me the best opportunity to contact other girls and see where they may lead.
Friday, July 10, 2009
The old switcheroo
When Rock Chick and I exchanged phone numbers it took over a week to actually make first contact and arrange a date. If I called, it would ring until the machine went off. I'd leave a message and wouldn't get a call back in a day or two.
I must have done something right on our first date because since then, she's either picked up her phone right away or if I've left a message, she'd call me the same day.
We had spoken on Tuesday, made arrangements for Friday, bumped into each other Wednesday and then talked on talked a bit last night.
I had invited her to this party a friend is hosting at a bar but after the initial invite I forgot i had to do a show the same night. I felt it would get complicated to invite her if I wasn't going to stay long, but she said she wanted to come and see my show and didn't mind all the traveling (the bar and place of show are at opposite ends of downtown).
On the phone last night she said she doesn't mind "tagging along". I told her that I hope she didn't feel that that was the case, but she was all cheery and said doesn't mind being all over the place and it'll be fun.
Regardless of how things go, the advice the How To Succeed With Women book says it's always good to have multiple prospects and not get hung up on one person. This way you feel less pressured and if nothing comes out of it, you have other people to pursue. Before, I used to really only hone on one person, but now I've still been checking out POF and other options, so I'm not feeling too worried about tonight.
I must have done something right on our first date because since then, she's either picked up her phone right away or if I've left a message, she'd call me the same day.
We had spoken on Tuesday, made arrangements for Friday, bumped into each other Wednesday and then talked on talked a bit last night.
I had invited her to this party a friend is hosting at a bar but after the initial invite I forgot i had to do a show the same night. I felt it would get complicated to invite her if I wasn't going to stay long, but she said she wanted to come and see my show and didn't mind all the traveling (the bar and place of show are at opposite ends of downtown).
On the phone last night she said she doesn't mind "tagging along". I told her that I hope she didn't feel that that was the case, but she was all cheery and said doesn't mind being all over the place and it'll be fun.
Regardless of how things go, the advice the How To Succeed With Women book says it's always good to have multiple prospects and not get hung up on one person. This way you feel less pressured and if nothing comes out of it, you have other people to pursue. Before, I used to really only hone on one person, but now I've still been checking out POF and other options, so I'm not feeling too worried about tonight.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Networking
Ira: "You should totally go. it'll be a great way to make new contacts, possible leads for a new job. Plus there will probably tons of girls".
What Ira was referring to was a networking cocktail party that was being held for young people to network and swap contacts.
I managed to skip work early (6pm - that's early for me as of late) and grabbed a bus to head to the bar where the event was being held. On the way I decided to stop off at home (2 blocks away) and change into something a bit more "professional" looking.
Twenty minutes of ironing a grey buttoned shirt and gray cotton pants later, I showed up at the designated bar.
There were actually a lot of people. A few cute girls as well.
I managed to talk to a whole bunch of people. We were given name tag holders to put our business card inside. Instead of putting the one from work, I put in the one for my comedy troupe. I thought it was a good move since once someone heard I was a comedian, their eyes would light up. I also did it because I actually designed the logo for that card where as my work card was done by someone else.
After being there for about an hour, I was chatting with 2 girls I vaguely knew and then I glanced over my shoulder and saw someone that looked somewhat familiar but I couldn't think at the time of who she was or how I knew her.
Even as this mysterious person came towards me to talk to me, for a the first couple of seconds I still wasn't 100% sure who I was about to talk to until suddenly my brain woke up and started working again.
It was Rock Chick.
She was there also looking to make new connections related to work.
I'm so glad I didn't flinch or ask her who she was, but subconsciously figured it out before she could even notice.
We chatted a bit and then she, unknowing to her, gave me an awesome excuse not to hover around her. She mentioned a guy who was looking for someone with my experience and suggested I go hunt him down.
About 30 minutes later, Ira was dying to leave, so I went up to Rock Chick to say goodbye. She had actually chatted with Ira and found out he was my brother but he did not know yet that she was Rock Chick.
As Ira and I began to leave, she offered to walk me to the door. I asked her if we were still on for Friday and she said yes. Then I gave her a double kiss on the cheek (very common custom where I live) and I left the bar.
Until Friday!
What Ira was referring to was a networking cocktail party that was being held for young people to network and swap contacts.
I managed to skip work early (6pm - that's early for me as of late) and grabbed a bus to head to the bar where the event was being held. On the way I decided to stop off at home (2 blocks away) and change into something a bit more "professional" looking.
Twenty minutes of ironing a grey buttoned shirt and gray cotton pants later, I showed up at the designated bar.
There were actually a lot of people. A few cute girls as well.
I managed to talk to a whole bunch of people. We were given name tag holders to put our business card inside. Instead of putting the one from work, I put in the one for my comedy troupe. I thought it was a good move since once someone heard I was a comedian, their eyes would light up. I also did it because I actually designed the logo for that card where as my work card was done by someone else.
After being there for about an hour, I was chatting with 2 girls I vaguely knew and then I glanced over my shoulder and saw someone that looked somewhat familiar but I couldn't think at the time of who she was or how I knew her.
Even as this mysterious person came towards me to talk to me, for a the first couple of seconds I still wasn't 100% sure who I was about to talk to until suddenly my brain woke up and started working again.
It was Rock Chick.
She was there also looking to make new connections related to work.
I'm so glad I didn't flinch or ask her who she was, but subconsciously figured it out before she could even notice.
We chatted a bit and then she, unknowing to her, gave me an awesome excuse not to hover around her. She mentioned a guy who was looking for someone with my experience and suggested I go hunt him down.
About 30 minutes later, Ira was dying to leave, so I went up to Rock Chick to say goodbye. She had actually chatted with Ira and found out he was my brother but he did not know yet that she was Rock Chick.
As Ira and I began to leave, she offered to walk me to the door. I asked her if we were still on for Friday and she said yes. Then I gave her a double kiss on the cheek (very common custom where I live) and I left the bar.
Until Friday!
Blast from the past
Elwood: "Hey what are you doing today?"
Ira: "I have a date"
Elwood: "Oh yeah... Who is she?"
Ira: "Someone I met on Plentyoffish"
Elwood: "I know that! I mean who is she? whats her name?"
Ira: "I have a date Gloria"
That happened on Sunday.
I was phased by it at all. I was happy my brother was at least giving it a chance even though he knows i didn't' hit it off with her.
Three days later (today) he told me he doesn't think he'll be calling her back...
Elwood: "How come?"
Ira: "She's too intellectual!"
Ira: "I have a date"
Elwood: "Oh yeah... Who is she?"
Ira: "Someone I met on Plentyoffish"
Elwood: "I know that! I mean who is she? whats her name?"
Ira: "I have a date Gloria"
That happened on Sunday.
I was phased by it at all. I was happy my brother was at least giving it a chance even though he knows i didn't' hit it off with her.
Three days later (today) he told me he doesn't think he'll be calling her back...
Elwood: "How come?"
Ira: "She's too intellectual!"
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Date # 10 - Rock Chick
Last night I went on a date with another person I met through POF. She's studying geology (hence the name Rock Chick), is originally from Winnipeg and moved to Montreal for her masters.
Once I got her number, we played phone tag for almost 2 weeks. We managed to talk once but again had a hard time connecting. Even though I;d miss her call, call her and then have to leave a message, she still got back to me and even showed interest in meeting.
Finally I reached her Saturday afternoon and we arranged to meet up later that evening.
I showed up to the Subway station and waited for her, looking out since I could on;y base what she looked like by 1 picture from POF. I know it could have a been a big gamble meeting up with someone who only posted 1 picture, and not a great one at that. However, when she came out the doors, the b-lined right to me so I knew it was her right away.
She's actually cute!
Our date started off a tad rocky since I had invited her to an art exhibit of a friend of RM1. RM1's boyfriend (who just moved in with her and I , by the way) was also heading there so I walked with him to the place and then split up to go meet Rock Girl.
Once i met Rock Girl, we headed back to towards the exhibit but it wasn't open and RM1's boyfriend was there and asking if we wanted to join him for a while, until the exhibit opened (even though he knew i was on a date). I managed to convince Rock Girl that we go somewhere else and she was cool with it.
We ended up going for ice cream (which I payed for), then to the Jazz Festival which is booming in My City right now and we saw a great Latino band. Following this we went to the docks and saw fireworks.
Our date lasted 4 hours. I may have talked a bit too much but it didn't look like she cared and I felt comfortable around her , cracking jokes and stuff. The eerie thing was I would think of something to say (a joke or fact or whatever) and she would beat me to it by like 2 seconds and say the exact same thing! It was like that with Wendy but I had dated her for months before that started happening.
Speaking of which (which by the way, Dolce, I haven't brought up in a long time and am only doing so in context, haha), this dated marked the tenth date of GFTOW. I wondered how long it would take to achieve a single date with 10 different girls and it ended up taking almost 16 months.
Am I completely over Wendy by now? Yes. do I still think about her? A little. Mostly the situations I was in with her since it's all I have to fall back on when I daydream about certain things. Even then, especially since starting to read that How to Succeed with Woman book, I have that wanting feeling of being with someone less than I used to. I now know that it's all just a game and it's supposed to be fun. I'll meet someone eventually and I know I have a lot to offer.
At the end of the date, Rock Girl told me she wanted to hang out again and we said we'd call each other sometime later this week.
To make things even more fun, after she left, I headed to the Subway, bumped into a friend and went for a beer at 11:30pm.
Fun times indeed.
Once I got her number, we played phone tag for almost 2 weeks. We managed to talk once but again had a hard time connecting. Even though I;d miss her call, call her and then have to leave a message, she still got back to me and even showed interest in meeting.
Finally I reached her Saturday afternoon and we arranged to meet up later that evening.
I showed up to the Subway station and waited for her, looking out since I could on;y base what she looked like by 1 picture from POF. I know it could have a been a big gamble meeting up with someone who only posted 1 picture, and not a great one at that. However, when she came out the doors, the b-lined right to me so I knew it was her right away.
She's actually cute!
Our date started off a tad rocky since I had invited her to an art exhibit of a friend of RM1. RM1's boyfriend (who just moved in with her and I , by the way) was also heading there so I walked with him to the place and then split up to go meet Rock Girl.
Once i met Rock Girl, we headed back to towards the exhibit but it wasn't open and RM1's boyfriend was there and asking if we wanted to join him for a while, until the exhibit opened (even though he knew i was on a date). I managed to convince Rock Girl that we go somewhere else and she was cool with it.
We ended up going for ice cream (which I payed for), then to the Jazz Festival which is booming in My City right now and we saw a great Latino band. Following this we went to the docks and saw fireworks.
Our date lasted 4 hours. I may have talked a bit too much but it didn't look like she cared and I felt comfortable around her , cracking jokes and stuff. The eerie thing was I would think of something to say (a joke or fact or whatever) and she would beat me to it by like 2 seconds and say the exact same thing! It was like that with Wendy but I had dated her for months before that started happening.
Speaking of which (which by the way, Dolce, I haven't brought up in a long time and am only doing so in context, haha), this dated marked the tenth date of GFTOW. I wondered how long it would take to achieve a single date with 10 different girls and it ended up taking almost 16 months.
Am I completely over Wendy by now? Yes. do I still think about her? A little. Mostly the situations I was in with her since it's all I have to fall back on when I daydream about certain things. Even then, especially since starting to read that How to Succeed with Woman book, I have that wanting feeling of being with someone less than I used to. I now know that it's all just a game and it's supposed to be fun. I'll meet someone eventually and I know I have a lot to offer.
At the end of the date, Rock Girl told me she wanted to hang out again and we said we'd call each other sometime later this week.
To make things even more fun, after she left, I headed to the Subway, bumped into a friend and went for a beer at 11:30pm.
Fun times indeed.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I Just Called To Say I Love You
I saw Stevie Wonder last night, bitches!
Well, I didn't actually see him. I saw him on a giant screen just around the corner from the outdoor stage where he was playing for free. There must have been 10,000 people about, so it was tough to get anywhere close to viewing status.
The show itself was pretty rad. He started off with a bunch of stuff I didn't know, then switched to his classics, also doing a few covers throughout.
The weirdest thing was twice he just sat there, while the band did absolutely nothing and a Michael Jackson song was being played over the speakers. My friend thinks they ran out of rehearsal time to nail the songs and instead just played the record as a tribute.
To end it all off, there were fireworks that exploded off of 4 building tops. It was wicked!
Oh, and there were tonsof hot girls walking about.
I love My City.
Well, I didn't actually see him. I saw him on a giant screen just around the corner from the outdoor stage where he was playing for free. There must have been 10,000 people about, so it was tough to get anywhere close to viewing status.
The show itself was pretty rad. He started off with a bunch of stuff I didn't know, then switched to his classics, also doing a few covers throughout.
The weirdest thing was twice he just sat there, while the band did absolutely nothing and a Michael Jackson song was being played over the speakers. My friend thinks they ran out of rehearsal time to nail the songs and instead just played the record as a tribute.
To end it all off, there were fireworks that exploded off of 4 building tops. It was wicked!
Oh, and there were tonsof hot girls walking about.
I love My City.
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