Post Break Up Meet

I met Wendy today for the first time since we broke up just over a week ago.

I had spoken to her 3 times this past week since we ended things. Each time we sounded more comfortable with each other and less awkward.

I had asked her on Wednesday if it was too much to ask her to go out with me on Friday. I had invited her to a comedy show and she said she'd like to go with me. I knew other friends would be there so it would lessen the tension (if there was any).

Overall the night went well. We talked, we laughed. I bought a book.

It felt good.

Then I drove her home and dread started to build up in me.

I didn't know what to expect.

When I pulled up to her house she was all ready to go and said good night. Then we kind of paused for a second. I thought she was ready to jump out of the car and instinctively grabbed her hand.

She didn't let go.

Instead, she put her head against me and laid there for a couple of minutes.

I asked her how she's been feeling and she said she's been up and down - one day she knows what she wants one day she's confused.

I told her I was like that too.

I asked her if she'd think we could get back together, and that if we did it wouldn't be the same. That I know now I"d share my feelings and if I saw things weren't going well I would speak up.

I also said that I realized I got scared when she admitted she was ready to get serious an di made it clear that I'm definitely not looking for anything serious right now.

She didn't say anything.

Then we just sat there for a few more minutes and told me "I'm going to kiss you now because you have to get up early and can't stay in the car all night"

She kissed me three times.

It felt good.

Then she said goodnight and left.

This time I felt like my feelings were working. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I felt normal.

I'm not sure what is going to happen and apparently neither is she.

I know it sounds weird but I know that I'd feel better if I tried to patch things up only for her to admit she doesn't want to try again, rather than not having said anything and leave our relationship as ending the way it did in the car over a week ago.

Time will tell.