Yet another reason I need to move out of my parents house

I was out with my parents for dinner tonight:

Father: "Let me try some of your mashed potatoes"

Mother: "Father! Use your own fork!"

Father: "Sorry! I just want to try some"

Elwood: "Don't worry about it. Have some"

(I continue eating with that fork)

Mother: "Gross! You can catch something... like Herpes!"

Elwood: "Ha ha ha ha"

Father: "Ha ha ha ha"

Mother: "Ha ha ha ha"

Father: "Actually, I have herpes"