Couldn't resist...

Tonight I went to an 80's dance club for an old friend's birthday party.

The whole night I was thinking of Wendy.

Body Builder came with me and saw that I was not enjoying myself. He looked at me and said "just call her. You look like you'd be having more fun if she was there"

So I did.

I called her in the waiting room. She picked up and for the first time, didn't sound happy to hear from me. I thought to myself right away that I made a mistake calling her because she doesn't want to hear form me. It was more awkward talking tonight than it was the night we had our first talk on the phone last Tuesday.

On Tuesday it felt like she really wanted to talk to me and wasn't even accepting that it could be over.

Tonight, thought, she totally sounded distant (which I don't blame her) and there were lots of pauses in our conversation.

However, after a couple of minutes talking she listened and then admitted she was happy to hear from me. Eventually I even got her laughing a bit.

We didn't keep the phone call that long btu I asked if I could call her back tomorrow and she said yes.

I realized tonight that I'm through listening to advice, worrying about my thoughts, being afraid, and I'm going to try and just do what happens and go with the flow.