2009 in Review

Today is the last day in 2009. I thought I'd look back at all the exciting things that has happened in my dating life in the past year:

The beginning of the year started off rocky. I was getting sick all the time and complaining about stress and work. From January to February I had gone on a couple of dates with new girls and tried setting others up but nothing much amounted from any of it.

The most "exciting" thing to happen in February was when I bumped into my ex-girlfriend Wendy at one of my improv shows. I would later find out by text from her that it was the same day we broke up a year prior. Weird.

In March, I got super drunk on St Patricks Day and felt like a young guy again when I puked my guts out.

April was great since I went to Chicago. It was a small vacation I needed desperately. I had a blast hanging out with friends, watching improv and doing improv.

Things started to look up as summer approached. By May, I had reached girl #9 of the 10 different girls I wanted to go on dates with, that I started roughly a year before.

In June, my brother Ira decided I needed help on dating and gave me a book called "How to succeed with woman". I read 3/4 of the book before I got tired of it. I had wanted to write detailed posts about what I was reading but got super lazy and never did. Now you'll never know my secrets to dating!... unless you go read that book...

The end of July was very interesting. That is when I met date #10 - Rock Chick. She would be the closest thing I had to dating someone since Wendy. She was the only girl of the 10 I met and went on dates since Wendy that I had multiple dates with. We hung out several times in the period of over a month. Then she disappeared and I was getting too frustrated trying to figure out what was going on so I moved on.

The other thing that happened in July was the night before my birthday, I went on a date with someone I met from the Internet. That night would mark the first time I went home with a girl and tried to have sex with. I had, er... manhood issues, but it was a very interesting and fun night and definitely added a notch to my experience meter.

Not much happened in September but then October I was all over the place. Work was piling up but then I had a great break when I participated in a week long improv festival. It was a complete blast! Then, my favorite holiday, Halloween, arrived and for the first time ever, I brought home a girl to my place. It's funny how I almost slept with a girl on both my birthday and Halloween.

In November I went to the craziest party I had ever been to. It was a "no clothing" party where everyone had to wear something that was non-conventional for clothing, such as paper bags or boxes. There was also a lot of really hot chicks scantly dressed.

This past month, I went on a "date" with a girl I met at my room mates concert and was glad that even though I reached my "10 dates with 10 different girls" that was still able to continue, making her girl #11. Although, later i would find out that my room mate bumped into her, chatted with her and said "Oh! So you're the girl Elwood went on a date with" and she totally went on a rant making it as clear as possible that we were not on a date and she has absolutely no interest in dating me. Fun...

Also, a couple of weeks ago, I had been contacted out of the blue by a girl on the Internet who seems extremely nice, is extremely hot, interesting and cute, but lives in Florida. Surprisingly enough, we've been e-mailing back and forth almost every day. I admit it's a nice distraction even though I really don't' see anything coming out of it. We also agreed to start chatting on MSN but haven't been online at the same time.

Finally, the last thing to happen in 2009 is just yesterday I discovered through facebook's live feed that Wendy has a new boyfriend. No shock there. It's been almost 2 years since we broke up so of course she'd be bound to date someone else. He's just not as good looking as I am :)

So, did I learn anything in 2009? I'd say yes. I discovered:
- I can go on dates with girls if I try.
- I work a lot but that's life so I should stop complaining about it.
- If I drink too much I have problems in the bedroom.
- Improv comedy is probably the only thing keeping me sane.

To a good and healthy year in 2010!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Lonely Jew on Christmas

Today is Christmas and it is kind of hard not feeling lonely. Being Jewish, it's not my holiday, so my family does not do anything special for it. I have no dinner to attend. Living in the same city as my parents, I have no place to visit. My room mates are away. All my friends are busy with their families or out of town.

All I did today was get up come to my parents house and put together my moms brand new plasma TV. And you know what, just doing that made me realize that it's not too bad. Hanging out with my fam for just a little while is miles ahead of being alone in an empty apartment.

My parents already had dinner plans tonight (to something I didn't even want to be invited to) so they are out for now, but we decided to try and catch the new Sherlock Holmes movie later this evening.

Also, I discovered this great website with Abandonware. It's old computer games that are so old, they are no longer copyrighted and can be downloaded online for free. That will keep me busy for a couple of hours.

I admit it would be nice to be spending time with a girl instead, but I'm OK that I'm not.

--

In other news, last night I went out to this Jewish party. On Dec. 24th, there is nothing for Jews to do, so they organize big parties. I went with Ira hoping to meet people and dance the night away. Instead the party was a tiny place, no place to move and no dancing. Everyone was just talking and pushing their way through the crowd. I had a pretty bad headache too. I did get to talk to a few girls but nothing really amounted from it. Ira and i talked to 2 girls for about 30 minutes and they were laughing at our jokes but I still got the impression they wanted to leave. And they did.

The weirdest part of the night was when I bumped into a guy I met through Wendy. All I knew is that at one time he had dated her before i came around. We hadn't seen each other in a while and were chatting. Wendy's name came up and he told me he thinks she's dating a new guy.

And it didn't bother me.

I shouldn't bother me but I'm doubly glad that it didn't because I've learned it takes me a long time to get over people.

Then Wendy's friend told me he had a story for me and was like "Oh you don't know the whole story? Well, I shouldn't tell you but I will anyways" and I was all "just don't tell me then, it's better I don't know."

I was expecting to hear some crazy story like how he slept with her while I was dating her or how she's been seeping around or is addicted to drugs or something shocking. Instead he just tells me how they dated a few years before I met her, he was really into her and then she dumped him. Then a few years later they met up again and became friends and now they hang out form time to time although he's convinced it's only when she's single.

That wasn't very shocking or useful knowledge to me at all. However, it did make me feel good to know that I didn't do what he did. I didn't try to remain friends. To me it sound like he still may have feelings for her. I on the other just want to meet someone new, not get back together with her.

Eventually my headache bothered me too much so we left and I went home and fell asleep.

--

I would like to take this time to wish all of the people who follow this blog a MERRY CHRISTMAS! I know I don't always write that often. I don't feel nowadays I have much of anything interesting to say, but yet you people keep coming back to read, so I must be doing something right. So as long as people are reading, I'll keep writing!

Happy Holidays,
Elwood

Just my luck...

I recently received a message out of the blue from someone I had never contacted before on Ok!cupid. She said she raid my profile and said we had some things in common and wanted to hear from me. We ended up writing e-mails back and forth all weekend. I just happened to be around my apartment/room so it made it easy for me to read and reply.

In those two days I discovered that she is cute, funny, Jewish, works as a grade 1 school teacher, likes a lot of the same music I do, owns a pink guitar and can only play 1 song - "About a Girl" by Nirvana. My guitar is blue and the first song I learned how to plat was About a Girl by Nirvana.

This all sounds like a great start except for one tiny thing... She lives in FLORIDA.

When I first noticed that I was really trying to figure out what someone in Florida is e-mailing people on a dating site who live in Canada. I kept at the back and forth messaging in part to see how long before she asked for my credit card to for marriage to enter Canada.

So far it seems she just genuinely wants to chat. I admit it is fun to come home from a long day at work and finding a nice e-mail. Although, it would feel a lot better after a long days work to actually go spend time with someone in the physical world .

I can't see me keeping this up for long but it is kind of fun.

Date # 11 - Bulgarian Chick

I got home not long ago from my "date" with that girl I mentioned in my last post. She is originally from Bulgaria and i didn't rememebr her having such an accent. It wasn't that thick but it was prominent.

I get the feeling she just wanted to hang out with someone new, which I guess is what a date is. I had fun but I don't think it was the best date I've ever been on. We met for a beer and chatted for almost 2 hours. The only shitty thing was I was really tired and after a pint and a half I felt really tipsy and I think she caught on near the end. I was sort of drifting.

Afterwards we walked in the same direction and when we reached the bus, she just kept walking and said "have a good night!". No, I had fun. No let's do this again. Nothing.

I was thinking of saying something like that myself but I held back because I felt it wouldn't have mattered. She seemed like she was in a rush.

I don't regret going (I am still tipsy) but I don't see anything coming out of this.

The downside of Internet Dating

After a while, you lose track of who you've contacted. Well at least I have!
There is a record of you've messaged but it gets cleared every few days or something so eventually you have nothing reminding you if you've already contacted someone. Instead it's all based on memory of their picture. Then things get tricky when they change their profile picture. It's like, you're browsing the lists and see a cute picture, read the into line, sounds good. Open the profile and BAM! You can now see it's a girl you contacted 6 months ago who just deleted your message before even reading it (you can check that) because you recognize some of the other photos int eh profile.

Speaking of which. A girl contacted me out of the blue. No picture. Short profile saying she's new to Internet dating and all her message said was "Whats up?". We've now wrote back and for about 20 times since yesterday. Each message has been short. I've also noticed that if I ask 2 questions she seems to only answer the last one. I finally asked for a picture and she said "In due time". I'm really wary about this since it sounds a bit too secretive but I guess as long and she doesn't ask me for my credit card number I'm OK.

When is a date a date?

If there is anything I'm bad at, it's knowing when a date is actually a date. I've met many girls on "dates" but most the time it was strictly platonic and it's even harder for me because I seem to have a hard time knowing when it is and isn't. I always seem to figure out some conspiracy as to why it would only be a "friendship" date: "yes we met at a party but she was only talking to me because I told her I like the Arcade Fire". OK that never happened but along those lines.

I bring this up only because on Thursday I meeting up with someone on a "date". I doubt that's what she's calling it but I'll find out. How did I meet this person? Well it's kind of weird but technically Facebook set us up. Long story short:

I went to go watch my roommate play with his band. After the show I bump into an acquaintance. We catch up and at his table is a girl. She turns to me and says "I know you Elwood Blues!". I had never seen this person before in my life. Turns out Facebook kept telling her we should be friends. Apparently it's because we have a whole bunch of mutual "Facebook friends". So, naturally, when I got home, I actually added her as a Facebok friend to make it official.

We joked back and forth over a couple of weeks via messaging about her stalking me until I asked if she was free on the weekend. She wasn't but was free later that week, then she got sick, then I forgot about her, then she contacted me to arrange something, then that never happened, then I contacted her again and finally, we're going for beer on Thursday.

So is it date?

My Beef with Internet Dating

I've been browsing Internet dating sites for the past few years. That's even how I met Wendy. I wouldn't say I'm a pro but I know how a lot of things work and have built up a few pet peeves that I feel like ranting about right now. In no particular order:

Per Peeve #1
Profiles that are super vague.

So many people will write a short (or even long) profile that list very basic things. For example, something along the lines of: "I'm looking for a guy who loves to laugh, going out and is funny. I like to laugh go out and be funny. I like music, movies and going to concerts. If you're interested contact me!"That's great and all but I find it makes it really hard to contact that person.It gives me little insight of what kind of person she may be and then I'm probably asking the same super vague questions every other guy is asking ("what movies do you like?").

Pet Peeve #2
People responding to messages in an vague way and not adding to it

This bugs me even more! The reason being, most the time, as a guy, I read profiles, come across one that seems interesting and I send a message. I try to keep them short, I ask a question or two and leave a comment or two about myself related to something in their profile. For example if someone wrote they went travelling to Japan, I'd ask a question about it and then say that I live in Australia for a year and maybe end with "have you travelled anywhere else?". However, if all they do is answer the question (ex to the above: "Yes"), then what was the point in even answering?! Especially when it's after 4 or 5 messages. It happened to me recently where I had to keep imitating contact and the girl would only answer my question or leave a comment with no room to continue, so it's like starting over all over again.

Pet Peeve #3
People who put up pictures that are useless

You have the option to put up a picture on your profile. A picture can make or break if someone will contact you or not. Some people will put up 1 great picture, some people put up a whole bunch of pictures. What bugs me is when people put up like 8 pictures but every single one is either blurry, from afar, in some weird angle, etc. If you're trying so hard for me not to see your face properly then that gives me the impression you're not comfortable with how you look and that turns me off.

Pet Peeve #4
People who only put up pictures of them with someone else

I noticed recently that a few girls who also may not be confident of their looks, will put up a bunch of pictures of them with one of their girlfriends. In one profile, every single friend I saw in the picture I thought was way prettier than the actual girl who's profile it was. What are they trying to do, confuse the viewer? If anything I'd put up pictures of me with someone less attractive than me.

Pet Peeve #5
People who obviously lie about their weight

I understand that weight is a big issue for people especially women. I really admire those who are not afraid to put down that they are "a few extra pounds" or "big and tall/BBW". They are being honest. I think the option of "prefer not to say" is pointless. As soon as I see that I get the sense that either they are overweight or are uncomfortable with their body type. No skinny girl will put that on their profile. It sounds mean but it's the truth. Then there are those that I plainly see from their profile that they are very large, big and tall, BBW, etc. but they list themselves as skinny. I can see your picture and I know you're lying! What's the point. It's a whole different ball game if you lie about your size and don't put up a picture. It seems most people just put down average to be safe. To me average can means anything because everyone seems to have a different idea as to what the average is.

Well that's all I can think of for now. Please take all of this in stride. I'm not perfect, but at least I'm honest in my profile.

Make out 'til you break out

Wow. Everything feels different when I come home at a reasonable time from work (or otherwise). I got into my apartment at 6pm and had time to cook a steak, potatoes and make a salad; watch an episode of Dexter; watch the new Star Trek movie; AND still have time to writ e new blog post.

So in regards to my last post about a crazy party. When I wrote that I was pretty drunk and had just come home from said party at 6am. It was was wild party just nothing really crazy happened in regards to me.

I got invited to this party very last minute. I had plans already on Saturday night to go watch my roommate play n his gypsy punk band (they are quite good!), plus I was scheduled last minute to do an improv show the same night.

I had no intentions of really going but the party was located a couple of blocks away from where I live so I popped in on the way home.

Even though I arrived super fashionably late (1am), it was still booming with people. This wasn't any ordinary party either. It was a NO CLOTHES party. No, there weren't naked people walking around... It was a party where you had to come dressed in something that wouldn't be considered normal clothing. People were in boxes, paper or plastic bags, etc. One guy was covered in coffee filters. Since I wasn't planning on being there, I just stripped down to my boxers. I happened to be wearing the pair i have that has a front hole, so I made sure to turn them a little... there were some hot chicks at the party!

So I hung out, saw people I knew, talked a few new people, had a bunch a beers. Nothing out of the ordinary for a house party. But then at one point guys were making out with girls, girls making out with girls, guys making out with guys and girls making out with guys. There happened to be a few homosexual and poly amorous people who were there. I never really witnessed anything like it before. This one guy was amazing! he was making out with everyone! There was this one girl who was so hot and she wasn't a bra, just paper bags taped over and every single guy was trying to hit on her all night. Then this dude shows up and not only makes out with her but then I witness him lead her into the bathroom. Meanwhile his girlfriend was in the living room making out with another girl. Then later on this dude is making out with another dude.

I told my brother Ira this story and he asked me who I made out with.

The answer is no one.

Part of me wish I had someone to be with but another part was telling me to just go home from exhaustion and that it wasn't really my scene in the end.

I realized as I was heading home that by the time I left, all the people who actually lived in the apartment had gone to sleep and left friends/strangers to roam around.

The lesson I learned: I don't need to make out with someone to enjoy a party!

One Crazy Party

It's 5:48 am and I just got home from what was probably the CRAZIEST party I have ever attended.

Details to follow shortly!

My Halloween 2009 Experience - Part 3

Apologies for the long gap between posts. I've just been so busy with work these past couple of weeks. It's tired me out so much that this is actually my second attempt at writing this post. The first time I was falling asleep at the keyboard. The bright side is I managed to get a day off work tomorrow for all the extra hours I've been putting in.

Onto the conclusion! (Check out part 1 and part 2 for back story.)

We left the party, hopped into a cab and ended up at my apartment. It was really early in the morning. I can't remember if it was 5am or 6am because it was the day we were supposed to change the time on our clocks, and I still pretty drunk from the earlier events of the night. What I do remember was when we snuck quietly in my room, the girl I brought home with me said "I've never done this before". I'm pretty sure she was referring to the one night stand thing more than ever having sex. Little did she know... However, I didn't say anything. Even though I probably had a lot less experience than her, I just tried to pretend like I knew what I was doing.

We went into my single bed and got going at it. I wont' go into many details but long story short I am still a virgin.

The night was an experience nonetheless. I learnt many things:
1. I am a human male and with the right amount of alcohol, even I will want to make out/sleep with anyone. Even if I find then completely unattractive.
2. I cannot have sex when I am drunk. The plumbing won't work. We tried everything and just could not go all the way. It is now 2 times this has happened. It could be nerves as well but I'll make sure the next time I have sex with someone to stay sober. Then I'll know for sure.
3. If I have had enough to drink, it can cause me to become extremely sleepy. During our romp session I was starting to pass out here and there. In fact, I don't even remember when we decided to stop and just go to sleep.
4. it is nearly impossible to sleep in a single bed with someone twice your size. I am an extremely skinny individual so it is not hard for someone to be bigger than me but this girl was very large and took up a lot for space in my bed.
5. I learnt I can have no shame sometimes. When we finally decided to get up, I walked into the kitchen o find my room mates. I whispered to them that I had company and their eye's lit up. They asked me her name and that's when I realized I had no clue and had forgotten it from the night before.

When I had fallen asleep and then woken up, I felt so embarrassed, I didn't want to look at the girl's face. She seemed really into me. Because I didn't really want to continue anything with her, let alone lie in bed with her, I didn't really make any moves (or any movement, really) but she kept pulling me in and snuggling with me and rubbing my arms and stuff. Also, during our "play time" she kept saying how she like me a lot. I could just have been drunken babble but I still heard her say it several times.

At one point was were sort of spooning with me behind her. I was practically drifting off to sleep again until she did a 360 and totally en wrapped me in this huge bear type hug. This also cause her to pin me again the wall. I was totally trapped! I felt like i was going to suffocate.

I had really wanted her to leave and just get on with my day. I was avoiding all eye contact while she was in my apartment. However, she wanted to go for breakfast and I still felt guilty bringing home this girl just for sex, so I accepted and brought her to a nice restaurant nearby.

Breakfast wasn't as dreadful as I thought it would be. I actually enjoyed chatting with her the whole time in French. It gave me a chance to practice and she kept telling me I was speaking it pretty well.

It's funny, because at first I had not wanted to even look at this person and in the end we went for breakfast and she ended up treating me for breakfast! I told her she really didn't have to (especially since I was planning on paying for her) but she insisted.

I walked back down the street with her until it was time for us to go in 2 different directions. I gave her a high five, a hug, wished her a "have a nice weekend" and turn around to walk home. As I was walking, I turned my head and shouted "Thanks for breakfast!" and that became the end of that.

So yes, technically I am still a virgin. I am sorry to disappoint readers who were hoping that I lost my virginity. I know that intercourse it the main deciding factor on being a virgin or not, but I feel technically I just haven't had intercourse. I've know fooled around with two different girls (3 if you count Wendy, but that's a whole different ball game) and have had fun.

It can only go up from here.

My Halloween 2009 Experience - Part 2

Continuing from my last post, I spent Halloween night with a bunch of people I hardly knew. I had met 2 Irish girls a couple of weeks prior to Halloween. Our posse of people included, Irish Girl #1, Irish Girl #2, a third Irish girl I only met that night (Irish Girl #3), Irish Girl #1's brother and his friend, both of which were visiting only for a couple of weeks from Ireland, a guy from the states who sounded like he was Irish for some reason (he claimed he travelled a lot growing up), and little old me.

We were at Irish Girl #1's place hanging out, drinking and waiting for the girls to get their costumes in order. By about 11pm, we headed over to the main event. One of the Irish Girls knew of some party at someones apartment. Apparently it's the party to go to on Halloween. A bar was set up and all that was required was to bring a bottle of boozer to add onto the free open bar!

I brought a small bottle of Bacardi Rum but ended up drinking 3/4 of it myself.

There were a lot of great costumes at this party and everyone was really into it. Funny enough, a lot of party goers thought I was Inspector Gadget when in fact I was Rorschach. This made a lot of sense when I did not have the mask on.

Although I arrived with people, I spent most of the party talking to new people I had never met. They all seemed to be very funny, friendly and drunk. Oh and everyonespoke French. Good think I was drinking because it lowered my inhibitions a lot to allow me to talk in French without being shy or afraid.

One point in the night it reach a point where everyone was starting to hook up. A friend of mine comment, upon hearing this story, that it sounded very high school. Nonetheless, I really wanted to just make out with someone. I felt after all the effort I put into the costume and finding a party, etc. that I could at least go home after enjoying a little drunken make out session. Besides, a lot for the girls at the party were really good looking.

Earlier in the night, I was talking to a fairly large girl who I didn't find quite attractive but NOW she was back talking to me. I also noticed another guy, who probably had the gung ho attitude I had of trying to find someone by the end of the night, was approaching her, but she wouldn't give him the light of day. That's when I noticed she kept giving me attention instead.

I was at crossroads: Either accept her advances and go with it even though there was not attraction at all, or, leave and not do anything.

Well, for one I did the former. I leaned in and she gave me a big hug and then we made out for a bit. She then grabbed my hand and lead me outside the party. On my way out i saw Irish Girl #3 and said y goodbyes and hopped in a cab with my new friend.

I somehow managed to convince her to come to my apartment, and she did.

More juicy details to come out in PART 3!

My Halloween 2009 Experience - Part 1

I have been so busy with work and other things lately I haven't had the urge to write anything. Besides I didn't really have much to write about, until now:

For the past 7 years I have actually put in quite an effort (and money) into my costumes for Halloween. I would think of an idea months before October and would start working on it from up to a month in advance (if not more).

This year, I decided to tone it down a little bit. I picked a costume that took relatively less time "making" it (one year I was Optimus Prime - Head, body, arms and legs all made out of cardboard and tape) and was more a matter of finding the right items that made up the costume. I chose to be one of the characters from the movie Watchmen (Rorschach).

One problem that has occurred in the past form spending all my free time working on my costume is that I'd spend all that time getting everything ready before I even had an actual party to go to. This year, being no exception, I had no plans until Friday (the night before).

About 2 weeks ago I befriended two girls currently living in My City but are on exchange from Ireland. They actually only met each other here and happened to have met me at the theatre that I perform at (they came to watch the show). Since then we got to hang out a couple of times and as it turned out one of them has her birthday on Halloween, so I was invited to spend Halloween with them. I love meeting new people, especially girls... who have sexy accents.

On Saturday, I got up and put the last touches I needed to make on my costume and headed out to the party.

I'm going to stop there for now. Tune in soon for Part 2! (It's worth it)!

Improv Eveywhere!

For the past five days my life has been 95% improv. This week there is a festival in My City that I am somewhat involved with. I went and saw 21 hours of improv shows. They were all fantastic! I even partook in 4 shows myself and received a lot of positive comments about mine and my teams performances. It's just been a crazy week. I met a whole bunch of fun people from out of town and for the past 3 nights have been up until at least 3am hanging out with my new friends.

Tonight is the last night and I am sure I will be dead tomorrow at work, but it was totally worth it!

In terms of girls, I don't get it but Student is no more. We went on one date and i thought it went well. We spoke on the phone again and arranged a second date. Great. Last second she cancelled because of a legit emergency (her USB broke and she needed to redo all her homework due at midnight). Okay. She was going to be busy on the weekend. It was Thanksgiving. Makes sense. She'd give me a call next week. Perfect.

Then nothing.

No call from her. I called her a couple and left a message (after it rang 10 times) and no call back.
So I guess it's on to the next person. I did everything right and I don't need to chase her down.

--

Another really weird thing happened this week. Wendy wrote on my Facebook wall. I haven't seen her since last February and the only contact we had was when she wished me a happy birthday on Facebook in July. What important message did she have for me on my Facebook wall you may ask? She wanted to know what I was dressing up for Halloween.

I wonder if she gets lonely sometimes and decides to contact ex boyfriends to see what is up with them?

Advice with spice

I was out having coffee with a friend of mine who is also a fellow comedian. We were discussing acting and comedy and he was giving me advice on how to improve my acting skills:

Friend: You know what you need to do to become a better actor?
Elwood: What's that?
Friend: Have sex
Elwood: Really...
Friend: Yes. You need to have sex so you have more personal experiences to inspire emotions on stage. That and get into a fight.

Blast from the past

It's actually not new news since it happened over a week ago, but I received an a call from Rock Chick completely out of the blue. She called me on a Friday morning at 10 am while at work. She said hi, asked if I was working and said she'd call me later that night.

I didn't know what to make of it. She just disappeared for about a month and just like that gives me a call. I had thoughts that something may not be 100% kosher but I figured I'd wait until she called me back before assessing the situation.

When she did get back to me that evening, she admitted that she while she was away visiting her parents in another city, she applied for a PhD program, and got very stressed trying to finish her Masters, while simultaneously start her PhD. she made it sound like she was ignoring everyone, not just me.

I understand how being busy and stressed would make you want o be alone for a while, but to disappear cold turkey like that and expect the other person to still be interested is a gamble. Just s I was considering giving it another chance, I asked her to do something the next night but she explained how she was sick with a cold (I could hear her stuffy on the phone). I told her perhaps the weekend then. However, I went out with Student instead (we have another date lined up this week - more on that in another post).

Saturday night I was invited to a friend's movie night, but I didn't really want my Saturday night entertainment to be just hanging out with a bunch of middle aged guys (my friend is 45, I work with him at the comedy club), so I gave Rock Chick a call.

Again, she sounded happy to hear from me but when I asked her to do something she told em she was going to study. I suggested if she needed a break at all to give me a call but she declined. So, politely I told her I know she'd busy with school and she wants me to give her space so I don't distract her I will but she said I wasn't distracting her and she wasn't trying to be impolite.

Well, regardless, I think I'm over Rock Chick. I"m actually having more fun meeting new people, I don't need to go chase her.

--

As a side note, a friend of mine told me the other day that she doesn't know anyone else who's been on as many dates as I have. I couldn't believe it. I thought about it for a minute and it is true.I've been on a whole bunch of dates this past year. definitely an improvement from my university days.

The engagement party

Well, since no one gave me any feedback on my dilemma on inviting someone to be my date for my co-worker's engagement party, I decided to put matters into my own hands.

I originally asked one girl I thought would be interested to come with me (whom I know through imrpov) but she couldn't make it out that night. Even though I felt bad asking someone else from improv (especially since she's good friends with the first girl), I did it anyways. It went something like this:

Elwood: Hey Friend, I tried calling you the other day but you didn't pick up. Is this your number?
Friend: Yes it is. Why did you call me?
Elwood: My boss' son, who is also my coworker is getting married and...
Friend: Oh! I don't do weddings, sorry.
Elwood's brain: "I don't do weddings"? What does that mean...?
Elwood: Oh... OK... but it's not a wedding it's an engagement party...
Friend: Yeah but I don't do make up for weddings.
(Now is probably a good time to mention that my friend happens to be a make up artist)
Elwood: Make up? I'm not asking you to do make up , I'm asking you to be my date!
Friend (beaming with joy): Oh! Yeah for sure I'll come!

She was the best thing that could ever have happened.

After a quick false start involving me showing up at the restaurant and waiting outside for 10 minutes only to find her coming out to get me after waiting inside for 10 minutes, we proceeded inside. There were a lot of people there and waitresses walking around with platters of food, and the bar was open the whole night. A few of my coworkers showed up but I ended up spending almost the whole night with my friend chatting. It was great. I didn't feel obliged to sit with my coworkers which is good because I didn't want to really talk to them anyways, and or have my friend feel left out.

Once the music started she wanted to dance, and dance we did. She was really good a well. We were having such a good time, we ended up staying later than any of my coworkers 9except for the groom to be of course).

I thought I'd bolt out of there by 8:30pm but we had such a blast together we stayed until 10:30pm. By then we left, and took the subway towards our part of town.

We said our goodbyes and I told he sincerely that we should start hanging out more often. I hope we do, she seems like someone I could really become friends with.

It's Official: I don't know how to close a date

Tonight I went on my first date with Student.

I was running late but thankfully, so was she. Also, living 2 minutes away from our designated meeting spot didn't hurt either. This being my first time meeting her in person, my mantra the whole way there was "Please don't be ugly, please don't' be ugly...".

Well, someone listened because she was very pretty. And seems very smart and interesting. She's travelled quite a bit and comes across as an outgoing person, not afraid to try stuff. For instance, I told her about this band I wanted to check out and she was all gung ho about coming with me. After the show, she told me she really enjoyed it.

The bus we needed wasn't coming for 20 minutes, so we walked in the cold rain.

We reached my street. I wasn't really that worried about ending the date because due to our umbrellas, it was impossible to get in close to her anyways.

As is now becoming a typical Elwood move, I just stood there for a few seconds and stared at her before she complained about her feet getting cold and wet. We both agreed we had fun and would like to hang out again soon. The same thing happened with Music Girl, but then I never heard from her again. So lets wait and see...

Add another to the list

I just entered another phone number to my cell phone contact directory. I just checked and noticed that I have a bad habit of not erasing old numbers. This makes 10 numbers currently on my phone from girls I've met over the past year. I do know that there are at least 5 more that I remembered to delete once it went nowhere. I really need to clean out my phone.

The latest addition is a 22 and a university student. I actually don't know that much about her since we've only e-mailed each other back and forth a couple of times via Plentyoffish. Since she's a student, she shall be dubbed Student. I'm really running out of ideas for pseudo names...

After our back and forth messages, I asked her for her phone number and suggested something we can do (go vintage/thrift store shopping - I need to get things for my Halloween costume - although I didn't tell her that part...), but she wrote back saying she was out of town. However, she did include her phone number and suggested we try this new cafe she's dying to try out.

I just tried and her number worked. She picked up, even though it's 11:30pm, and sounded happy I called but was going out with friends. I smoothly said I'd call her tomorrow and she said she was glad that I had her number.

Until tomorrow!

Stay Tuned

I haven't been able to put up posts on a regular basis but I do have a bunch of stuff I want to write about that has been going on lately. Today is a Jewish holiday (Yom Kippur) and technically, I shouldn't even be using a computer (not that I'm that observant). So, don't veer away too much and keep an eye open for a few fun things to read about during this upcoming week!

Elwood

Dilemna

My boss's son, whom I also work with, is getting married. Along with my other co-worker (our company is technically 4 people), I got invited to his engagement party. I don't really want to go but I kind of feel I have to. I respect my coworkers but I don't' really feel comfortable enough to hang out with them outside of work. On top of that, the groom to be is good friends with a lot of people I went to high school with (he's only a year or two younger than me).

I was told I'm allowed to bring someone and feel a hell of a lot better if I could find someone to go with. I'm not currently dating anyone, so this becomes a challenge. I don't have any real close female friends I could ask. I know a couple of girls I see almost every week at the theatre and we've hung out outside of the workshops as well.

How do I approach it though "Hi Jen? Hey It's Elwood. how are you doing? this is going to sound weird but I'm invited to a swanky, fancy dress up engagement party. I know we haven't hung out much but I thought it'd be a great way to get to know you. Would you lie to be my date?"

Or how about "Hi Sarah! How are you? I'm invited to my boss's son's engagement party and I was wondering if you'd like to be my date. I thought I could show off if I invited someone who was really good looking like yourself"

Yeah, I wouldn't wouldn't ask it either of those way, but my question is: a) Is it wrong to ask, and b) whats the best way to ask.

The Backrubber

I filled out a survey on OK Cupid! to determine what "kind of guy" I am in terms of a relationship.

Here's my result:

The Backrubber Deliberate Gentle Sex Dreamer (DGSD)

Lusty but indirect. Kind, but also using friendship as a means to sex. Oh, that feels gooood. You are The Backrubber.

We call you “The Backrubber” because you straddle that fine line between coming on to someone and just treating her nicely. Backrubs are just one example; you’d meet for coffee, or talk about books/movies, or even argue a little bit, all the while mostly preferring to screw.

Your indirect approach is not some evil trickery, but rather a result of your open mind. You’d enjoy either love or sex, but the latter definitely doesn’t require the former. While you are responsible and ambitious, you absolutely DON’T have uptight views on relationships. So ultimately, you just enjoy a woman, and let things take their course. If she wants you, great. If not, that’s fine too.

Though you’re not thinking too much about Love at this point in your life, odds are, when the time comes, you’ll be very happy settling down. Your ideal mate is gentle and horny, just like you.

Old habits die hard

I said I wasn't going to, and I kind of haven't really, but I sort of started browsing online dating sites again. It started with a "oh, maybe I'll just have a gander" to checking my account several times a day. I haven't broken out of this lazy spell to actually contact anyone, I'm just looking at peoples' profiles, see who's new, who's gone/taken.

I decided to update my profile and picture. I took down my old goofy-faced pictures and replaced them with newer, more recent... goofy face pictures. As much as I want to show i"m a grown up, I also want attention, and it's working. Just not in the way I thought.

I got an e-mail stating a 30 year old added me as a "favorite" on Plentyoffish.com. It's basically a way of keeping tabs on people you want to keep tabs on. So, I messaged her and I get back a reply that she thought my pictures were funny and that's all she wanted to say.

This is not much unlike "I like you as a brother" kind of situation, in the sense that I'm coming across as a guy that will entertain you with my pictures. It's happened a few times now that I've been contact (or stopped in the street) and told that my profile pictures are funny, but they don't want to get to know me.

Maybe it's time I "grow up" a bit, but it's so hard. I don't even look good when I smile normally!

Labour Day Weekend

This week has a been pretty chill but also interesting. Friday night I went to visit my parents in the suburbs and ended up staying over. I like doing that from time to time. I get a nicely cooked meal, watch a movie with my family and sleep in a warm bed.

Saturday I went shopping for a new bag to carry around all my crap. My previous bag, although I loved it, was on it's last leg. It's a postman bag and the strap was about to break off. I went to the mall in the suburbs with my mom and saw all kinds of bags that were sort of what I wanted but didn't have this feature or that feature. Eventually, I ended up in a shop that had the exact same bag! So I grabbed it right away.

I spent the rest of the afternoon chilling in my room working on a poster for a friend. It looks awesome. I'm really starting to get the hang of making posters for comedy shows. I did 2 already and have the opportunity to do a whole bunch in the next month.

Last night i saw Inglorious Bastards. I highly recommend you go see it. It was AWESOME! Some might say it's Quentin Tarintino's best movie but it was highly enjoyable.

Sunday morning I just chilled at home. Not even 24 hours after I wrote the post on how I was going to move on from Rock Chick, I received an e-mail from Plentyoffish and one from Ok Cupid. The OK Cupid one said someone checked out my profile and like it but I need to rate others to find out who it was (waste of time). the Plentyoffish one was an actual message from what seems to be a very enthusiastic and outgoing. She read my profile and seems to really like what I had to say and wants me to write back. She's from out of town and also a big chubby. I can tell from her picture I'm not attracted to her at all. Why can't girls I'm attracted to send me messages out of the blue?

I worked some more on the poster and in the afternoon I headed to my weekly workshop with my comedy group. I thought it went super well. We tried something new and I feel it's the beginning of something much grander in the future.

Then I headed to the theatre that i frequent every Sunday as well. I had a blast in the workshop. This is followed by a show which I felt I did really well in. I made a lot of the right choices (which is hard in improv) and even got a few compliments after the show.

On the way home I ended up walking right by the open window of a bar and thought I recognized someone I hadn't seen in about 5 years. I pretended to walk inside to get a better look and still couldn't care. So, I said "fuck it" and walked up to the person i thought was my old friend and it was!

Turns out she was visiting with her boyfriend all the way from Boston, had been in town for a few days and is leaving tomorrow. This is the second time this happened.

Tomorrow, my day off, I plan on just relaxing, finishing up the posters and cleaning my room with hopefully some time to jam on the ol' guitar in the park.

Happy a have Labour Day everyone!

On To The Next One

I don't get it.

I meet someone online and we end up going out on several dates. Not one or two, like 7. Each time, unless I"m totally mistaken, I've shown that I was interested in being more than friends without having to throw my tongue in her mouth. Each time, she didn't do anything to make it seem obvious she was totally not interested in me either. All the while, I felt something just wasn't right but kept at it anyways.

Well, it's been over a week and a half, so I know that Rock Chick should have returned back to town. I didn't expect her to call me as soon as she got off the plane but she's definitely been back a few days. Heck, she never called me before either, I was always making the calls.

I'm guessing she was just never into me and just couldn't say no to hanging out. This time, I really don't think I'm over reacting. Besides, she's still going on plentyoffish.com. Yes, obviously I'm no better since I went on to find out, but I couldn't' help it. I was really curious.

In a way I feel a little used but that's what dating is, right? You go out with someone a couple of times an if it's not for you, you move on. It's bound to happen so you have to enjoy each date for itself. I probably just should have gotten out a lot sooner, but didn't really mind either.

In any case, since I stopped actively pursuing girls online, I've been doing a lot of other proactive things like playing my guitar, working on posters for friends' shows coming up, working hard at work, doing a lot of improv, etc., so I've been keeping busy.

I'm not holding my breath to hear from Rock Chick again.
I also think I'll start looking around online soon but not really in the biggest rush.

Decision Made

Tonight is the last night I could spend time with Spider Dude before he leaves to go back to Australia. We were hanging out with another one of his friend's, walking around, shooting the shit.

I shared with him the decision I made in my mind last night. Rock Chick is currently away for about 2 weeks. Instead of worrying about what I want to do - should I pursue others? Do I want to stick with Rock Chick?, etc. - I decided I will just do nothing. Take a step back and have a break. concentrate on other things. Work, Improv, having fun.

Then, I'll give Rock chick about a week. If she calls me when she returns and wants to hang out, I'll go with the flow and see what happens. If I don't hear from her for about a week after she's been back then I'll move on to something else.

I know that being the guy I can always make the first move (and some believe I should always make a move), but I realized that even though I could keep pursuing her by making the calls and grabbing her attention, that's not what I always want. I don't want to be with someone that I always need to chase after. I would like to date someone who can reciprocate. If Rock Chick isn't that someone, than I'll have to say goodbye and move on.

Let's see what happens.

One night at the Sex Shop...

The other day Spider Dude and I met up to hang out. He wanted to go into a sex shop so he could by some enticing underwear for his girlfriend.

Inside we ask the clerk at the counter where "the underwear section" is, and he points us in the right direction. Spider Dude starts looking at a bunch of panties. There are red ones, laced ones, see through ones, ones with holes in the right places, ones with ties. Yes. They had panties with a shirt tie hanging over the front.

After about 15 minutes, the clerk comes up to us and says "The men's underwear is over there".

Party like it's 1985

I know I havn't been posting so often as of late. Work has got a lot better lately, I'm not swamped but things are starting to pick up. I've been going out a lot too. Spider Dude is still in town all the way from Australia. This past week another friend who moved to Israel was in My City and a bunch of us got together almost daily until yesterday. I've been keeping busy but there just hasn't been much to talk about on this blog since I havn't been pursuing people.

It has been almost 1 month and a half since I've met Rock Chick. We've been on probably 7 or 8 dates. We've gone out for dinner, she's come over to watch a movie, we spent a whole day at a concert, etc.

Last night, Spider Dude organized an outing to an 80s dance night at a bar. I was excited to go since he told me he didn't care who came as long as I was there. We both don't mind making fools of ourselves and just have fun - without any alcohol (we're crazy like that).

I had invited Rock Chick back on Monday and she was excited to come. Last minute (yesterday) she called me and asked if she could bring someone. She is part of this exchange program where people from overseas are paired up so when they move to My City for the university, they have someone they can hang out with. It was a smart move since we ended up being a bunch of dudes so at least she had another female around.

The night itself was a lot more fun then I thought it would be. I wasn't feeling so hot during the day but felt better at night. Also, I was afraid I was going to act all weird because Rock Chick was there but I didn't. I think having Spider Dude around helped because I was having fun and not feeling nervous.

The dancing itself was ok. The music wasn't very good but the being around fun people was. After a couple of hours we decided to split since Rock Chick and her friend had to leave to catch the last Subway. Spider Dude had a car and offered to just drive them home (Rock Chick's friend was staying at her place) so I asked him if it was cool if I came for a ride.

On the way there, I ended up sitting in the back seat with Rock Chick. We talked and joked around. At one point I put my hand behind her neck and started to rub it lightly. Again, she didn't throw my hand away but I couldn't tell if she actually liked it or not. I know that if someone does like something they will not allow you to do it but she never shows any signs of acknowledgment. It can be frustrating.

When we arrived at Rock Chick's place I got out of the car to move to the front seat. Rock Chick is leaving to go back to her home city for 2 weeks so I wished her a good trip, told her friend I was that it was nice meeting her and then moved towards Rock Chick. She gave me a hug so I kissed her on the cheek.

In the car, I talked to Spider Dude a bit about it. He told me straight up that he thought she was beautiful looking (he's old school like that). He really liked her. I asked what vibes he got from her and he honestly told me he couldn't tell anything. From how she acted around me he couldn't tell if she sees me as a friend or more.

I don't know what to do anymore. Part of me wants to see what will happen and part of me wants to see what else is out there. Well, she's gone for 2 weeks. By now she should know I like her more than a friend (or she's really clueless) so when she returns I'm leaving it in her court to reach me.

In the meantime I think i may start pursuing other things, not to drop Rock Chick completely, but surely there is nothing wrong to just look around. I'm not saying I'll go on 100 dates in 2 weeks but if the opportunity to meet someone new arises, I won't totally reject it.

What do you guys think? Are things moving too slow with her or am I being too eager? Think she's just yanking my chain?

Share you thoughts.

Flower Power

I have a date tonight with Rock Chick. I decided I wanted to buy her a flower or two since she said she had a bad week last week and I hadn't really had a chance to see her in a while.

During lunch break I went out of my office to the grocery store next door only to find that they had nothing. Across the street there was a convenience store which also sold flowers. Inside, I saw a bunch of shelves, practically empty. A small plant here and there.

The store lady told me that they are expecting more inventory soon. In search of buying just a flower or 2 our conversation went something like:

Elwood: Do you just have a flower or 2 for sale?
Lady: What kind of flower?
Elwood: Any flower, I don't need a whole plant, it's just a gift.
Lady: How about this piece of bamboo?
Elwood: Oh... Well it's a gift, for a girl, you know?
Lady: Girls love bamboo sticks! (shoving it in my face)
Elwood: Thanks... but it's not what I'm looking for... Have a nice day.

Needs to work on details

One of my closest friends, Spider Dude, is in town this month. He's from My City but moved to Australia to live with his girlfriend, Luscious Linda, who is now his fiancee.

For the first time in what felt like years, he called me up and we headed out for a walk in the city. We just walked around and chatted about stuff. He asked me about Rock Chick since i mentioned to him that I had been on several dates with her.

Spider Dude: "So, do you like this girl?"
Elwood: "Yeah, I do. At first, I wasn't so attracted to her body type. I thought Wendy was a lot hotter and I normally found others more attractive physically in that way but she's funny and it's her eyes. She's got the sexiest eyes. I melt when she looks at me"
Spider Dude: "That's great! What color are her eyes?"
Elwood: "Um... you know what? I don't know..."

Vacation is over

It's Sunday and I go back to work tomorrow. I had a pretty relaxing, productive and fun vacation. My goals while off work were:
1. Get the ball rolling on finding a new job
2. Make a poster for a festival a friend of mine is organizing
3. Make a 1 minute movie for a film festival I entered
4. Relax
5. Hang out with friends visiting from Australia

To a certain extent, I managed to do all of the above.

Normally, a whole week off to have fun would have been the best way to take advantage and try to meet more new people, be it online or at a party or social gathering, etc. However, since I've been hanging out with Rock Chick, I've decided to stop browsing sites. I'm really confused if it's the smart thing to do but I was talking to Ira last night and he summed it up for me. He asked me: "are you not pursuing other people at the moment because you want to see what happens with Rock Chick and it makes you uncomfortable starting new things while trying to get to know her better?"

The answer is yes.

I spent 2 nights this week with her. Thursday night we were supposed to get together but she forgot she already made plans to watch a movie with a friend. However, she still wanted to see me so she came over and we ate a quick dinner that my roommate had made (she offered us leftover pizza she cooked) and then I walked her all the way to the movie theatre on the other end of town. it was about a 45 minute walk and the weather was absolutely beautiful.

Friday night I had invited her to an interesting party I found out about (a 90's video dance party) but she already had plans with someone else (a female friend), so I went solo. It was an awesome party and filled with hot girls. I'm not sure what I would have done had the opportunity arose, but I was flirting with a few of them, having fun, you know.

Last night I called her up again to see if she's like to get together since really we hadn't done much. Friday she was busy and Thursday all I did was walk her to her other plans. So I called her and she said she wanted to get out of her place. I suggested we walk down to the Old Docks. it's pretty much a wharf near water that is nice to walk around at night.

We arrived there just in time to catch the end of some fireworks. We walked along the docks and then headed to a fancy coffee shop I know of that has an amazing outside garden area to eat dessert, drink coffee and listen to live jazz. After dessert we caught a busker doing a show that lasted about 30 minutes and then we headed to the subway to call it a night.

I had fun with her and I find our conversations are pretty engaging. We have a few inside jokes now and she'll joke around with me and stuff which is great, but I still can't get this feeling that something is missing.

The only reason why I haven't moved on yet is I can't tell if this "feeling of something missing" is justified or not because I also feel I may be expecting too much too fast. The only other person I dated multiple times like this was Wendy and with her by the 3rd date we made out. With Rock Chick, it's now become a habit that we have a quick kiss at the end of our dates. I know that it doesn't have to be a scheduled thing like that, and if the mood is right, we can kiss or do other things during the actual date, not just wait until the end, but I haven't yet felt that that opportunity has arrived. I will touch her arm a bit or put my arm around her briefly while walking but it doesn't lead anywhere. On Thursday I tried holding her hand (after having reason to touch her had, we were joking around and I thought it would be a nice way to lead into hand holding) and she jokingly threw my hand away.

The way our dates on Thursday and Saturday ended were quite different. On Thursday, when I walked her to her destination, when we got there, there was this long awkward goodbye. I wanted to kiss her but was also afraid of making it a habit so I almost didn't. But then I thought now that I have made it a habit she may wonder why I didn't' kiss her this time. I know, it sounds silly, but that's what happened and then finally I went in for the quick kiss, said goodbye and left. I can't help it. It's just she stares right into my eyes each time when we say our goodbyes and it makes me feel like she's expecting me to make a move. But then when I do, it's so quick.

On Saturday night, our goodbye was a bit different. This time when we said goodbye, she leaned in and made a joke kissing motion and noise, like she was telling me "it's OK to kiss me now" which was great but again I cant' tell if it's because she really wants me to or because now it's a habit thing we've started.

Wow.

I feel as I keep typing this post, I'm getting more and more confused.

In the end, I know I am having fun with her, I just don't know if I'd be having more fun with someone else. I found out that in a couple of weeks she's going away for 2 weeks to visit her parents back home. So, I decided I'll give it a bit more time and see what happens. I'm definitely in no rush. If by then I feel that it's going nowhere, then it'll be a great opportunity to end things since she'll be gone for a while.

In the meantime lets see what happens.

My weekend with Rock Chick

Yes, I managed to spend a whole weekend with Rock Chick, but nothing steamy like with Glasses. We just hung out. A lot.

Last Monday I had asked Rock Chick if she would like to go with me to this Huge Outdoor Rock Concert that happens once a year in My City. It's a 2 day festival but I was only interested in going on Sunday (Day 2). She had said yes to that and also to asking if she wanted to meet the next day as well.

So, after Tuesday, I wasn't supposed to see her until Sunday. Saturday comes along and I gave her a call to figure out our plans for Sunday. It turned out she was actually biking towards my area of the city to run a few errands. The only thing I had planned that day was to play guitar in a park, so she said she'd come by when she was done her errands.

I was out on my own for about an hour, jamming away, until she showed up. She listened to me play and seemed to like it but also got distracted a lot by things around us. I'm not the best guitar player or singer but i couldn't tell if she was bored. She kept telling me to continue, even when I stopped.

After a while we were talking about getting ice cream at a shop not too far by bike. Since my apartment was close by, the plan was to go back to my place, grab my bike and head to the ice cream shop.

Once we got to my place, I invited her in to check out the place. She also wanted to see old pictures of me on my PC since I told her i used to have a shaved head (and then a giant Afro).

Throughout all this I was getting pretty hungry, so I suggested we get real food and barbecue. She really wanted ice cream and the BBQ wasn't free yet (roommate was using it), so we had ice cream for supper and then BBQ steaks for dessert.

While we were getting the meat, I suggested renting a movie, and she loved the idea.

Once we were cooking the meats, new neighbours of mine i had just met earlier that day, were out on the porch, chatting to us. They asked me about my roommates and I told them that they are a couple. To that, the 2 dudes asked Rock chick and I how long we've been a couple.

Total silence.

Rock chick then mentioned how we went on 3 dates. I find it's always so awkward at the beginning of something like this.

We ate our steaks, made a mean salad and then adjourned to the living room to watch our movie (a Jewish comedy). On the couch we ended up cuddling a bit but she didn't really lean in much. I had my arm around her and she didn't' object but she didn't rest on me either.

After the film, which was hilarious, I walked her out and down my steps. We said our goodbyes and had a quick kiss goodnight.

So what was supposed to be a quick phone call ended up being a 10 hour date.

Sunday was another long day spent together. We arrived at the show grounds at 2pm and left at 11pm. We saw 8 bands in 9 hours. It was awesome! I got to see The Honey Brothers, Beatnuts, beast, The Ting Tings, Vampire Weekend, Rufus Wainright, Arctic Monkeys and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

it poured at the beginning and a bit in The Decemberists/Arctic Monkeys sets but otherwise it was a nice and beautiful day.

Throughout the show we talked and at some points I pulled her close and had my arm around her back or both arms around her waist. Each time she didn't pull back, but also seemed distant. by the end of the night she finally reciprocated and put her arm around my back as well and played a bit with it with her hand (taping it and rubbing it).

When the show finished, we were both exhausted and headed home by subway. We had to get off at the same stop but then each take different cars to finally get home. Again, we said our goodbyes and had a very quick kiss.

I had a lot of fun with her but I wonder if we spent a bit too much time together. Also, I can tell she likes me because she keeps letting me do stuff, she's not rejecting my advances, but on the other hand she's not really adding to anything. I figured there are many factors as to why (I'm moving too fast, she's not really that interested, she's afraid and not ready yet, etc.)

An even bigger thing to ask is am I interested in her. I hate when I get this way and start questioning everything. I admit I don't find her drop dead gorgeous and am normally attracted to women who are a bit more nice looking, but she has amazing eyes. Truly piercing eyes. And I find her funny. It's just, I don't know, I'm not blown away yet. But should I be? We've only been on a couple of dates. Even then, though, as much as things went slow with Wendy and I after a while, at the beginning I could tell a big attraction through the both of us. We made out on our 3rd date. it was hot.

I don't think I want to move on just yet, but my best friend Spider Dude is back in My City visiting family and asked if I was seeing anyone, I told him about rock Chick. He told me that it didn't really sound like a liked her that much. He said if the answer is something along the lines of "Yeah, I think so", which it sort of, then I should get out while I'm a head.

I decided to take a little break from Rock Chick. We did spend a whole weekend together. I'm not going to call her until probably Wednesday or Thursday, just to give it a few days. this way it gives me a chance to think things over a bit (or at least stop thinking of things, rather) and see if she calls me or not either.

The long awaited "Part 2"

Quick recap: I found Glasses on OK! Cupid and we messaged each other back and forth a few times before agreeing to meet. We met at a coffee shop for supper. This lead into going for a pitcher of beer at a nearby bar. This then lead to us heading to a very cool dance party where everyone listened to music through giant headphones.

The rest:
We were dancing the night away and she kept dancing really close to me. I tried grabbing her hand but she shut me down saying she doesn't like dancing with someone. However, a while later, and I can't remember how, our hands locked. This lead to making out on the dance floor. Eventually we decided to leave so I walked her towards her place.

As we were going to depart ways, we made out again.

Both times it wasn't sloppy, dirty making out. It was actually quite nice. I made sure to make my kisses very gentle and she liked it. She even ever so slightly nibbled at my bottom lip. First time that ever happened and it was awesome!

From the beginning, I felt really confident the whole time. I really don't know what came over me, maybe it was the alcohol, or the book I've been reading or the alignment of the stars, but I just wasn't nervous at all. I got all kinds of vibes that showed she was into me, so maybe that made me feel less nervous.

All of sudden, I whispered in her ear "are you sure you don't me to at least walk you home?". She agreed and we held hands going to her place. As I mentioned before, as we were approaching her building she straight up told me she wasn't going to have sex with me. I replied that she totally got me all wrong and that wasn't what I was going for. And it's true. Like any guy, I wouldn't turn down the offer (especially being a virgin) but I genuinely wasn't going to force it out, and could have cared less if at her door she said goodnight and went upstairs. Up until then I have a blast regardless.

But the story doesn't end there.

In the elevator she tells me her roommate is conveniently out of town. We enter her place and she says "Do you want to make out on the couch or the bedroom?". I can't remember what I said, if anything, but after we each took a quick bathroom break (all the alcohol made us both need to go) we were in her room. With the lights off.

Again, here was another moment I felt like someone else. We were making out on her bed and I didn't feel nervous at all. I took off my shirt and helped her remove hers. After some more making out she laughed that I still had my pants on. I jumped off the bed and jokingly did a strip tease for her and she loved it. Then I was butt naked.

What was going on with me?? I'm afraid to even walk around my apartment naked when I'm alone, and here I am stripping in front of a stranger.

My experience with Glasses that one night was a million times better than any moment i had spent with Wendy over a full year. The whole time it was just a lot of fun. We joked around and said silly things. We laughed and smiled. At one point I kissed her nose by accident and said "Wait... That's not your mouth!" and she laughed and giggled.

Not knowing how far she wanted to go I would ask questions and she would answer and I could tell she liked that I asked, didn't sound annoyed. She even told me a few things to do.

She really liked being kissed on her neck and one f my favorite things I like doing is kissing necks, so it was a great match!

I won't go into too many details (in case kids read this blog, ha ha) but we did fool around on the bed. We didn't have sex and that was fine with me. I won't know if she ever would have had sex with me (well, intercourse) because I seemed to have had... er... man issues. But it didn't' matter, she didn't seem to care. I did manage to please her. It was the first time I ever made a girl orgasm. I never got that reaction with Wendy.

When we stopped, I moved in close next to her and we cuddled and talked.

We talked about a bunch of stuff. I also asked if it was ok that I stayed the night and she said of it was.

I can't remember what stuff we talked about before we went to bed and which we talked about the next morning, but at one point I told her was a virgin. She laughed but not because I was a virgin but more because she thought it was cute. She told me she never would have guessed by the way I behaved.

We talked for i don't' know how long and then said goodnight night and slept. Well I didn't sleep well at all. I kept waking up every few minutes. At one point we were both up and eventually discovered it had only been about 3 hours that we slept, so we tried to go back to sleep.

Eventually we just were up talking again and cuddling. I had my arms wrapped around her and was leaning against her side while she lied on her back. It felt a bit weird because she was a bigger person than me and maybe it's a guy complex or something but it seemed out of the ordinary having the girl lying on her back while the guy curled up beside her.


I know that just because we fooled around and I stayed over wouldn't necessarily mean anything. I totally was just going with the flow, but the next morning, I decided I didn't want it to go anywhere. Maybe it wasn't the smoothest (or smartest) thing to talk about it but we did.

I joked if this was a typical thing for her (to go this far with guys from the Internet) and she said I was the first guy since she moved My City. I told her that I didn't come over to just use her, that I genuinely had fun but also admitted I didn't see it being a repeat thing. She actually liked my honesty and then admitted to having a date lined up with another guy the next day.

The things that made me decide right there and then that I didn't really want to pursue anything with her were:
- I had been drinking a bit and the next morning I wasn't as attracted to her. One of the big things was that she was a big mix of other ethnicity. She told me she was like a quarter black, white, Chinese, etc. She had light brown skin and a really big nose that I see on many Filipino women. It's maybe a really jerky thing to saw, but I'm not as attracted to non-white people.
- She wasn't Jewish and that is still something i"m trying to come to grips with. I'm not sure if I'd really date a non-Jew or not.
-She said I reminded her of her ex. Apparently he was also really tall and skinny. She said she liked tall and skinny guys., but hearing her mention that I reminded her of her ex also made me think I should get to know her more before doing anything again
-Now I haven't gone home with many women (only 1 before this) so I"m not sure how things normally are the next morning, but I felt that was really clingy. Like, we spooned and cuddled and stuff, and I rubbed her skin gently with my finger, but she was like rubbing me all over with her hands. Up and down my arm, my head, my hair, my face. And at such a fast speed too.

At some point we decided to get up and get on with the day. I had a quick bite to eat at her place and then decided it was time to go. Even though I decided I didn't want it to go anywhere, I genuinely wouldn't mind being her friend. She seemed really cool. As I left I gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her we should do something soon.

I haven't called her since but am debating if I should try to get friendship or not out of it. There is something sort of starting up between Rock Girl and I and I don't' want to make things complicated if I start hanging out with a girl I almost slept with. Can people be friends from situations like this?

Either way, I had a blast Friday night. The only crappy thing is that the next night, the day of my birthday party, I was so tired that the night ended up being really relaxed.

So I hope you guys enjoy my post as much as I had acting it out.

A story unfolds

"Wow! I haven't been here since I went to University 5 years ago" - He said entering the shady diner.
"That seat is ripped. you're going to have to sit next to me" - She said, approaching the booth and sliding into the seat, invitingly. He sat down, close, their bare legs touching each other ever so slightly.

They each ordered a milkshake and shared a plate of fries. Throughout their conversation, their eye locked on occasion. Feeling comfortable, he put his arm over the back of the booth seat behind her and gently rub his his finger on the top of her back, just diagonal of her neck. They talked some more and even played 2 rounds of thumb war.

Feeling stuffed and tired, they went to the cash, where he paid for the meal, kindly declining her offer to chip in. Outside he grabbed his bike and walked with her a couple of blocks towards her house, moving a couple of block further away from his place.

At the traffic light he stopped, moved his bike out of the way and approached her.

"That was a fun show" - she said looking into his eyes.
"Yeah it was, thanks for coming. You're like my #1 fan" - He said, grabbing her fingers.
"I had fun" - She said, not grabbing back her fingers.
"Me too" - He said, leaning in and giving her a gentle kiss.

"We'll be in touch about the concert on Sunday" - He said and they walked in opposite directions.
"OK" - She said.
He then got on his bike and rode into the night.

Thus concludes Chapter 1 of Elwood and Rock Chick.

Elwood turns 28 a.k.a breaking the rules

Today I turned 28.

I don't feel twenty eight at all. I feel like I'm still a young guy, not close to 30. When my brother was 26, he got married. When I was 26, I was dressing up as a barbarian for a Medieval party.

I'm sure its related to the experience I've had in life. I started a lot of things late, including dating. However, every year (or lately, I guess i can even say day) I feel that I'm getting better, more relaxed at it.

Last night I went out to celebrate my birthday with some friends. Knowing a lot of people and not really having a key group of friends anymore (many have move away), I just invited a whole bunch of people and ended up with a group of about 10 friends, most not knowing each other.

We started at my apartment, then went to a bar and ended up at this dance party. Not any dance party though. It was Silent Disco! What is silent disco? it was a room full of people dancing to music. Except, instead of the music being pumped through very loud speakers, it was supplied through giant headphones that everyone wore. That meant that the room itself was quite silent.

I had fun hanging out and was glad to see a lot of my friends but I was pretty exhausted from what I had done the night before. Believe you me, what i did the night before was a ton of fun but it did hinder on my being fully awake and energetic for my birthday. I am willing to say that it was almost worth it.

What is it that made me so tired to celebrate my own birthday? Well I'll tell you.

I had been messaging back and forth a girl I met on OK! Cupid for a bit and we had arranged to meet up for "coffee and baileys" Friday evening. Lets call her Glasses (since she has some pretty funky glasses). I arrived at the coffee shop first but when she arrived, we ended up having dinner with our coffee since we were both starving.

The meal was going fine. We had a lot to talk about. I accidentally mentioned i was reading a book and she wanted to know what it was but I didn't want to tell her and then she insisted I did. So probably breaking the first rule, I showed her that I was reading "How to Succeed with Women" but informed her I was reading it as a joke and not to take it seriously. It ended up being a great idea that I showed her that because it quickly became an inside joke between us the whole night.

From the beginning of reading the book I told myself i wouldn't' take it seriously but I was already breaking rules, they insist on a first date you only spend between 45 - 60 minutes and lead it up to a second date. Well, I was breaking that rule by a lot

After coffee we ended going for some beer at a nice terrace. Then after having shared a pitcher (and don't forget our strongly alcoholic coffees from the coffee shop), we headed out towards the direction we both lived.

I had heard about the Silent Disco and had mentioned it to Glasses earlier on in the date but then we found out when I bumped into a friend, that it only started at 12am and it was 20$ to get in.

At 11:45, we happened to walk by the building that was housing the party and I convinced Glasses to come in with me for a second and found out what Silent Disco was all about. Turned out it started at 11:30pm, so there were already people there, and the price was only 5$!

We went in and it was tons of fun. There was a bar, a bunch of people dancing and really fun music. We were there for a couple of hours and I realized that Glasses was dancing pretty close to me. I didn't feel comfortable just grabbing her and grinding but I did get the impression that she wanted to be close to me.

At one point I grabbed her hand so we could dance to a song but she let go after a couple of seconds saying she gets uncomfortable dancing with someone. I didn't' freak out or feel stupid, and totally took that in stride.

After a couple of drink and after being there for a couple of hours, our hands ended up touching and then locking, that when I decided to move in even closer and kissed her. It was really interesting making out at a party with really big headphone on our heads. Without the music, it was really just too people kissing in front of strangers in a room. The headphones were really bulky so we kept hitting each other with them.

After a short while we decided to leave.

I walked her to the point where we would have to split up to head to our respective apartments and we made out some more. I don't get it but I wasn't scared at all! I felt really calm and confident that she was into me, and I into her and that was all I needed.

I whispered in her ear if I could at least walk her home. She agreed. I swear that when I said that my true intentions were not to go sleep with her. I genuinely just wanted to walk her home to make sure she got home safe and also to see, curiously, what would happen next.

On the walk there she told me that I could come up but she wouldn't sleep with me. I told her she got me all wrong and that she didn't know me well, and that that wasn't my intention at all.

We got to her place and she let me in.

End of Part 1

There is a lot more I want to talk about my Friday night experience, but it's late so you'll have to come and check up for part 2 sometime soon.

Last Night I Didn't Go Home

And tonight is the night I"m going out to celebrate my birthday.

Yes my date went very well.

Details to come.

I Take That Back

During the shower this morning, I realized how negative my last post sounded while in my mind when I wrote it I thought otherwise. I've been moving in a posititive direction with my experiences and attitude with women latley and I shouldn't make assumptions and sound negative after every encounter.

My first reaction to missing ROck Chicks call last night shoudl have been something more like "Sweet, she's probably calling me to thank me" instead of "ugh! She' calling me to say she just wants to be friends".

Either way, I'm supposed to have a date with a new person tonight.

More to come.
Love,
Elwood

Assuming makes an ASS out of U and ME

During my talk with Rock Chick last night, she mentioned how her parents were visiting and she needed to find something to entertain them with. I suggested this great comedy/dance show I saw a few weeks ago. The way she took in the information made it sound like she wasn't too into it.

In the end, Ira asked me if I wanted to go with him if I didn't mind seeing it again. I accepted and some other friend of mine were going as well.

I was at home eating a pizza and running late, and got there just before the doors opened. Ira had been there before me, talk to... Rock Chick. She actually brought her parents to the show, and loved it!

Of course Ira made me feel super awkward, dropping hints and purposely scheming so I sat next to her and stuff.

After the show Ira pissed the fuck out of me asking "Where's Rock Chick?", "Go talk to her", "Go look for her", etc. I told him not to ell me what to do and talked to my friend for a bit. Rock Chick came by to say goodbye and left with a high five.

Ira and I actually had tickets to another show tonight (a stand up comedian) and I just got home from that. As Ira was saying goodbye he tells me "Don't give up on Rock Chick, she likes you". 5 minutes later in my room, i discover that she called me 20 minutes ago, no message.

I texted he to see if she was still up but looks like the answer is no.

She most probably called to talk about the show and how much fun it was but I just have gut feeling it may have been to give me a a speech similar to that of Catch22's. I know, I know, I shouldn't assume anything but I felt that I've been showing sign of desperation all around her the past couple of times we spoke, and know women can smell it miles away.

Alas, I shall find out next time I speak with her, and you guys will be the first to know.

Elwood The Player

It's late and i need to sleep but I haven't posted in a while, so here's a super fast post!

1. On the weekend I last minute ended up in Ottawa for a friends birthday. The night was a blast! We were 5 guys and had tons of fun at a club. We met 3 girls and one was tall and so hot and I flirted well with her. I almost got a kiss but her friends ditched and she left into the night.

2. I waited 2 days from when Rock Chick was to return home from Mexico. No call from her, so I called her instead. We spoke on the phone for over an hour. She's cute and funny. Her parents are in town this week so we won't see each other again until perhaps next week. That's if she wants to, I'm still unsure on her intentions.

3. I've been messaging back and forth a new girl on Ok! Cupid. We finally made arrangements for coffee this Friday.

4. Sunday is my 28th birthday. I don't feel 28. I feel 22. I'm having a party Saturday night. Should be fun.

Goodnight all!

Validation

I'm about halfway through How to Succeed with Women by Ron Louis and David Copeland.
Originally I wanted to write blog after blog about each bit of information I was learning from the book. Unfortunately, I've been reading it so fast and working so much overtime that i just havn't had a chance to do that.

The main things discussed have been confidence, advice on dress and looking good, myths guys seem to have on dating and also who to be romantic with women.

One thing that I will admit that has stuck with me was a part that mentions how you shouldn't let women validate your life. Life shouldn't feel crappy when your single and great when you're with someone. Life should always feel great for all kinds of reasons and things you got going on. Then, once you feel great abut life, if a women were to come in the picture it's only an extra thing added to your already super duper awesome life.

Reading that made me realize I was (am) a bit like that. I would feel great if I had a good interaction with a girl and awful if it didn't' go my way and think about it for days.

Although I do wish I had a more enjoyable job, I'm enjoying my life. I live on my own in an amazing area. I have a job and at least make some money. I'm super active in improv and actually get paid to make people laugh and feel good. I've been out and about meeting all kinds of new people.

When I had my date last week with Rock Chick, I was curious to see what the book had to say on dates and first kisses but flipping through the book, I discovered they only touch that stuff 5 chapters later.

I'm kind of glad I didn't read anything on the subject at the time, it allowed me to do what i"m best at: make stuff up.